The Wisdom of Cuttino Mobley: Lessons in Fatherhood

In this episode of the Dad Dads podcast, Robert interviews former NBA player Cuttino Mobley, who shares insights from his basketball career and his experiences as a father. Cuttino discusses his early life, the influences that shaped him, and the lessons he learned from playing alongside basketball legends. He emphasizes the importance of mentorship, the challenges of parenting, and the values he instills in his children. Cuttino also addresses the societal perceptions of fatherhood and the need for fathers to be present and engaged in their children's lives. The conversation is filled with wisdom, humor, and heartfelt reflections on the joys and responsibilities of being a dad.

Takeaways

• Cuttino reflects on his journey from a late start in basketball to the NBA.
• Playing with legends like Pippen, Barkley and Hakeem taught him valuable lessons.
• Mentorship is crucial in both basketball and fatherhood.
• Cuttino emphasizes the importance of defense in basketball.
• He discusses the impact of coaching on his understanding of the game.
• Cuttino enjoys watching current players like Anthony Edwards.
• He believes in raising children with strong work ethics regardless of gender.
• Cuttino shares the differences in parenting a son versus a daughter.
• He expresses the joy and fulfillment he finds in being a father.

Transcript

Robert (00:00)
Hey everyone, and welcome back to the Dad Dads podcast. So I've had the pleasure over the last several months of getting to know my next guest. And while he's probably best known for his highly successful NBA career spanning 11 seasons, what impresses me most is just his very in -depth wisdom, as well as his incredible passion for being a father. And so I wanted to welcome Mr. Cuttino Mobley to the podcast. Welcome Cuttino.

CUTTINO (00:29)
What's up, brother? How you doing?

Robert (00:30)
I appreciate you coming on man. Thank you. I know you're busy and you got a lot going on and pulling in different directions, but I appreciate you taking time out. Hey, I want to ask you something. I've never asked you before who gave you the nickname cat? Where did that come from?

CUTTINO (00:44)
That was in grade school. My football coach. Yeah, quick as a cat, know, running around, everything like that. that was, wasn't too, the story wasn't too exciting. It was just, he's quick as a cat. And the funny thing is my grandmother's name is Catherine and they called her cat. Yeah, my mom's mom. So it, you know, it fit.

Robert (00:47)
Okay. Really? Okay.

Okay.

CUTTINO (01:11)
So in grade school when I was playing football, my coach called me that and it stuck with me. then you know, Catino is C -U -T, but people say it, they think it's Catino and it's not. Well Catino is in Sicily, but it's Catino. Yeah.

Robert (01:15)
Abba, al.

Okay. So I've always wondered that. I've never asked you before and I thought, you know what? I'm going wait till he's on the podcast and just educate everybody. All right. So I want to talk about your career as well as fatherhood. but, before we get into father, you were born in Philly, correct? All right. Were you like coming out, you played high school there. Were you heavily recruited?

CUTTINO (01:45)
Yeah, born and

Robert (01:52)
college.

CUTTINO (01:53)
I wasn't until I went to prep school.

When I went to prep school, which was Maine Central Institute, coached by Max Good, who was an amazing coach, my guy. Before then, because I picked up a basketball somewhat later in my life, being from a city that's known for boxing and basketball. So I picked the ball up at 13 and very, very, very terrible.

Just aggressive and prep school was my way to improve right after high school and I was still young. graduated at 17 so my body wasn't developed. I wasn't developed mentally, physically, emotionally. So prep school gave me kind of that another year to mature.

Robert (02:46)
It makes sense. And then went on to University of Rhode Island.

CUTTINO (02:50)
Yeah, yeah, you know, it's through the other four years.

Robert (02:53)
When did you know, like man, I've really got a chance of playing in the NBA. Like when did you kind of have that, not that you wanted to, because I'm sure at a young age or 13, 14, you probably wanted to, but when did you really know like, hey man, I think I can do this?

CUTTINO (03:02)
Yeah.

I would say college, like midway through college, maybe sophomore year, playing with a lot of pros, practicing with a lot of pros in the summer times in Philadelphia. I think that's when my antenna kind of like, you know, came to life, started to spark, so to speak, in...

I just believed it. Being around those, Rashid Wallace was one of the best in the world. There's Eddie Jones, was Aaron McKee, there was Kobe, there was Alva Williams, there was Jason Lawson. There was so many guys that were around me. Rick Brunson, whose son is one of the stars of the NBA now, Jalen Brunson. It was so many guys at that time that were really good. And...

It was in my backyard. It was all friends of mine. It was all my guys. So I guess it's that Malcolm Gladwell theory of, you know, your environment is actually who makes you.

Robert (04:04)
That's crazy.

Yeah, yeah, that's crazy. I can't imagine being in college, University of Rhode Island and playing with all those guys, knowing them and hanging with them. That's, that's incredible. All right. So look, you were drafted second round by the Rockets and you came on a team with Pippen, Barclay and Hakeem the dream. What was, what was that like for

Coming from University of Rhode Island, and I know you've already been playing with some, but to be with those three greats, that had to be incredible. Was there any surreal moments?

CUTTINO (04:47)
it was so many, man.

Robert (04:50)
And you know, the other thing I want to ask, how did they're well established? How did they treat you?

CUTTINO (04:50)
There are

Yeah, that's the thing, right? They're all different personalities. So, and having those different personalities, know, Scotty's one way, Charles is another way, and then Dream's another way, right? So, Dream was more conservative Muslim. know, Scotty was more professional when it came to basketball. And then Charles was just a, you know, he was just life. He was fun. was, you know, he was, you he didn't really take care of his body as much.

Scotty took his body every single day, Dream took his body and his mind. There was different elements that was going on for me. We get on a plane and Dream sitting by himself practicing, I think Arabic and reading the Quran. Scotty's over there with Charles and they're sitting at the table playing cards, gambling.

You know, and it's just, it was just a different, everyone, I picked something from every single one of them, like Scotty's work ethics, Charles, you know, extroverted kind of characteristics of life and just being just unapologetic. I'm just, I'm just a regular guy that lucked up to play basketball kind of attitude.

you know, and like do your best and then dream was like, want all the information that the world has to give. I want it all and I'm going to study it every single day I can. That was dream.

Robert (06:29)
That had to be so cool though. I mean, that's amazing. Young kid being in there with them and day to day traveling and everything else and just spending off time. That had to be pretty impactful.

CUTTINO (06:31)
Yeah.

Yeah, was, man, I always listen.

I haven't.

I don't know about everybody else, but I look at life, the signs of life. You have...

5 ,000 people to ever play the game of basketball. And then you're this kid that comes and plays basketball. And then you make it to the NBA. And it's like, holy cow. Not only do I make it, I'm like a star. like, not only do I'm a star, like these are my fraternity brothers. And I don't know any of that. It's like, there's 8 billion people on earth. there's a, there's a.

There's something that you can do that 99 % of the people don't get the opportunity to do. Right? And not only that, like you have, looked up to these guys before they even knew who you were, and now you are a peer. Like it's just the weirdest, it's the weirdest. I always look at meaning of life in the best way I can, even though at times it's very,

Robert (07:20)
Yeah, or higher.

CUTTINO (07:41)
humbling I would say but yeah

Robert (07:43)
So did that, how did you take that later on in your career when you had rookies coming in that had looked up to you? Did you, yeah.

CUTTINO (07:52)
I poured as much as I could. Yeah, I poured as much as I could.

It's just our job, I mean, that's fathers, that's mothers, any mentors, it doesn't matter. You're not actually teaching them, they're teaching you. You're just kind of giving them what you learned, right? They're teaching you that patience, that discipline, that this, that whatever it is, they're teaching you it, especially children, your children also at that.

certain things you were bad at in your last life and then in this life, you know, what can I get right? And then your children pick you, they come out and then they challenge you to become like that. And I think that's the same thing when it comes to being a mentor, being that veteran, when they pass that torch and then now it's your job to be able to make sure that this next individual is fully equipped to conquer whatever it is journey that they're on.

So give all that information and they take what they can with it. That's how I look at life

Robert (08:54)
Do you miss the game at all? I mean, I know you're still very active. You watch it. Do you miss playing? No.

CUTTINO (08:58)
No, no. mean, you know, people ask that a lot to a lot of people and it's like, what do you, what exactly do they mean when they ask that question, right? Like, what do you miss? Playing? I play every day. Like today, they play at 11 o 'clock. So you play, like, are you around your peers? Not a lot. Not every day. You're grown up now. You can't just have the, you know, the letterman's jacket on, just going to like, you know, parties, drinking kegs. Like, it's just, it's just not.

Robert (09:24)
Yeah.

CUTTINO (09:26)
It's not something you need to keep doing. you know what mean? Like, it's not like the, I'm the cool jock in high school anymore kind of life. You have to evolve. So that's not what I miss. know, my body is telling you, you know, sometimes your body's like, yeah, all right, sit your behind. You can love it, but sit, sit down.

Robert (09:29)
You

That makes sense.

I I'll tell you this, I loved watching you and Francis, Steve Francis. Y 'all are unbelievable together, one, two duo, man. Y 'all are dangerous. That had to be fun. And you've played, you played Rockets, Magic, Kings, Clippers. we've mentioned a lot of the greats, but you also played with Yao Ming.

CUTTINO (09:51)
Yeah, yeah.

It was fun. It was fun.

Robert (10:10)
You were just over in China for a tournament with him, Grant Hill, Dwight Howard. You even played with a fellow alum of mine, Clarence Weatherspoon at one time as well.

CUTTINO (10:22)
Mm -hmm.

Robert (10:24)
you were also known for your defense. Who was probably the hardest person you ever guarded? Gave you the most trouble? Yeah.

CUTTINO (10:32)
Jason Kidd and Nick Van Exel. Like those two, like, it's just the worst. Like Nick Van Exel was more offensively aggressive. Jason Kidd was more cerebral. just, even if you're defending him, he's not really worried about you like contesting his shot. There's somebody cutting to the basket that he's going to get a layup for.

You have to box him out because he's another big guard that's, you know, when he gets to rebound, he's a one man fast break. It's just so many different things that he did that it's way more than, you know, the game of basketball. Think about it like this, Nowadays, there's about 100 attempts, okay? Guys take about 100, the whole team takes about 100 attempts. Star player takes how many shots? Especially if it's a shooting guard.

20, 25? Right, so it's 75 other shots that need to be taken, correct? So whoever's dominating the ball, like Jason Kidd, he's making sure that that 100 possession, he's a part of. So you're not just guarding somebody that's shooting the ball 20 times, you're guarding somebody that's dictating 100 possessions. See how I broke it down?

Robert (11:28)
Well, yeah, I was gonna say 2025, probably.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

CUTTINO (11:52)
It's a little different. are like, well, Kobe. And it's like, well, no, he was in a triangle. You knew when he was going to be aggressive. He had 20 times to be aggressive, 22 times. Now, if your brain can lock in, which is hard, to those 22 times, cool. But if you got like a Magic Johnson, a Jason Kidd, a Steve Nash, they are control of 99 % of where the ball's going to go. So you got to worry about those guys, those guys, John Stockton, those guys, Mark Jackson, those guys, Chris Paul.

Robert (11:57)
You knew what he was, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

CUTTINO (12:22)
Those guys are terrible. I hate them. Those are the guys.

Robert (12:28)
It's too funny. Hey, so what I love is this past season, you did a lot of Instagram lives where you would break the game down. And I think there was even one game where you and I were talking during part of it. And I mean, just the knowledge that you have, you've got a extremely high level of basketball IQ, I guess you would say. Who is probably the most technical coach that you played with over your career?

And that really, from an X's and O's standpoint, got it to the degree or maybe even exceeded what you have.

CUTTINO (13:05)
I would say offensively Rick Adaman and Pete Crell, the Princeton coach, they broke the game down amazing. Like I love their offense, right? But of course you gotta have bigs at the elbow that makes plays because it limits the dribbling ball, dribbling the air out the ball. But then when it came to defense, there was

Robert (13:12)
Interesting. Yeah.

CUTTINO (13:31)
know, Jeff Van Gundy and Tom Tippado. Like they were very possession. You're going to get 75 possessions. We're going to get 75 possessions. We're going to junk this thing up. We're going to drag it out. Both of us are going to be tired. And then now we're going to see who shoots, you know, who makes 30 something out of the 75, 40 something out of the 75, that kind of thing. So offensively it was this group and then defensively it was this group. So I like, I tried my best to mesh together.

Right? Because the objective, I mean, I think for kids, what I train, even my son now, it's like fall in love with defense. Like offense is kind of easy, right? Offense is like, you can just be anybody and like, you can take anybody out there like a YMCA guy, bring him out there on the court, put him in a corner. If he just touches the ball, he throws it in, it may go in. You know what mean?

Robert (14:22)
No, I think you told me that a while back when my son was playing, I was talking to you about AAU or not. I think you'd even mentioned defense. I ended up instructing him on that or telling him. And he's really focused on that. that is how, I mean, he's a great shooter, but that has helped his game so much. And it's something you don't see, especially in the younger level too. They don't play it.

CUTTINO (14:47)
Yeah, because it's effort. It's effort. And then all coaches love defenders. All coaches love hustlers. All coaches love those type of guys.

Robert (14:52)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now he takes it as a challenge. He loves it when he's paired against the best player on the other team. I mean, he loves that. he's sticky, man. mean, he's sticky. It's fun to watch. So let me ask you this. So is there a team that you pull for, or do you more pull for players? Do you?

CUTTINO (15:16)
Nah, I do players. I don't run through teams, nah.

Robert (15:19)
So favorite player right now or one that you enjoy watching the most? Me too. Yeah, yeah, he's sweet. I think I share with you, but we met him, my sons and I met him right before he was drafted and he was working out at our gym. And he was just, and there was all this talk, he's gonna be in the top three being drafted. And he was just the most humble kid, he was a kid at the time.

CUTTINO (15:22)
Anthony Edwards. Gosh, I love him. He's incredible.

Robert (15:48)
The most humble kid talking to them the whole time, asking them what, know, do they play any video games? What do they play? I ran into him by myself a couple of weeks later at the gym and, you know, he asked about it again. Just a great guy, you know, I love watching him though. I love watching him. Hey, so, yeah, he is. He's amazing. So I want to ask you this. I'm going to compare you or

CUTTINO (16:06)
There is music.

Robert (16:13)
A little challenge with my 13 -year -old son who loves basketball. Top players, current players in each position. One spot. Who you got? Current players.

CUTTINO (16:26)
Anthony Edwards at the two.

Robert (16:29)
Here you go, the one.

CUTTINO (16:29)
I got Luka

Robert (16:34)
okay. All right, so he's got Steph at the one and he's got Luka

CUTTINO (16:40)
yeah. mean, well, yeah. The reason why I like, I don't know, because Steph is getting older, I would put LeBron James, you know what mean? Like, okay, so if you're going to do that, then I guess I'll just do Steph. I'll do, you know, Ant Edwards. I'll do LeBron. I'll do Joel Embiid Then I'll do Joker.

Robert (17:00)
okay. He's got Steph, Luka LeBron, Giannis and the Joker.

CUTTINO (17:06)
Yeah, I like that. His is really good. His is really good.

Robert (17:08)
Yeah, yeah. mean, look, Steph could be out there with one leg and he would still be picking Steph. So he's a huge fan.

CUTTINO (17:17)
Yeah, I would do Giannis instead of Embiid also. Yep.

Robert (17:20)
Would you? Okay, so pretty similar. Pretty similar. Okay. All right. So your son's your son plays a lot. He's pretty good.

CUTTINO (17:23)
I would do Giannis instead of Embiid

Yeah, he's okay.

Robert (17:31)
You think he's gonna fall on your footsteps?

CUTTINO (17:33)
He's on that path, man.

In life, people don't really, they kind of look at it from a distance of whatever it is that they love or they desire or they are infatuated with, whether it's being a wife, whether it's being a husband, whether it's being rich, whether it's having friends, being at a job, they, from the outside,

They don't understand exactly what it is on the inside of the house and what it takes to build it. And my job is to not only my son, but the kids around me is to like, you need to understand brick by brick, right? Like.

In real estate terms, it's like, all right, what are the taxes, right? What exactly the cement, how much that gonna cost? How much construction is gonna cost? How much are these, the window finishing and the molding and this. It's like, once you start understanding, like, I wanna be a real estate, it's like, okay, all right, so do you know exactly? Because you can just hire someone to do it and then they can steal from you, right? So the hiring someone is mommy, daddy.

hanging with friends, they'll steal that from you, opposed to you just earning it yourself. A lot of people in life don't really understand exactly what the meaning of whatever it is they wanna become is. They just, like, everybody has a different definition of love. That's why there's so much chaos between men and women. Everybody have a definition of friendship, right? Of all these different things. And once you can understand it,

the definition is like, as simple as it is if I take my hand and smack someone. Whether I know him or I don't know him, it's bad, right? I slap someone, it's bad, right? I shoot someone, it's bad, right? If I hug someone, if I help someone, that's universal. All those things are universal. So we have a very funny, funny way of understanding what success is. Success is hard work, period.

Robert (19:33)
Yeah. Yeah.

CUTTINO (19:43)
There is no in between. There's no, we'll take a break. is this, is that. Success to me, and I wrote this the other day, success to me is when nothing has nothing left to give you.

Right? Like it's just, it, you know what I'm I have nothing left. Right? No, nothing will tell you when it has nothing left. That means you exhausted it. Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, LeBron James, Steph Curry, Mike Phelps, Usain Bolt Like that's when you have nothing, when nothing tells you it has nothing left. When you've accomplished everything you could and you know that you, you can look in the mirror and say, yeah, yep. Now I gotta go give it to someone else.

Because I've given everything, I have nothing left to give. When it comes to my body, now my mind, I can always give, I can live forever, my body can't.

Robert (20:35)
That is beautiful. There you are with the wisdom right there. So I can only imagine you with training your son. mean, it's not even from a physical and basketball standpoint, skills standpoint, but also from a mental aspect as well. I mean, that's invaluable for him. All right, so look, you've got, we were talking about your daughter the other night. I mean, she's absolutely adorable. You've got a son and a daughter.

CUTTINO (20:39)
What?

Yeah.

Thanks.

Robert (21:04)
there has to be differences. I mean, I have two boys. Not that I have it figured out, but I know the talk. I know how to kind of handle that and we've got it kind of easy. It has to be a lot of differences in raising a son and a daughter. Can you share that with me and maybe even some of the traits and values that you hope to instill in each of them? Because they have to be broadly different.

CUTTINO (21:27)
No, are. Listen, they are. It's not as... Well...

Because one's 14, the other one's about to turn 11.

Aggressiveness of when you're supposed to do something I have to Pull back because it's not because she's a girl. He's a boy. It's the age so Once she gets to that point and whatever it is she wants to do when it's 11 12 years old now It's starting to be serious because you're going to middle school and from middle school to high school So I don't I don't I don't favortize hard work Male or female hard work is hard work

You don't get to skate because you're a girl, right? You don't get to do this because you're a boy. Like, this is just how it works in life. No one cares. So, I don't parent them differently. I do kiss my daughter more, but every single day I kiss and hug my boys. When my boys are around, I kiss and hug them. Now, the 14 -year -old lives with us 24 -7.

The older two, they coming in out of the house. Like one's going to Boston to train some pros. The other one is doing fashion. He's back and forth from downtown here in LA. But the 14 year old and my daughter are with me basically every day, especially the fourteen one. He lives with me every day. So the difference is understanding like basketball players.

Right? Like you can't, don't talk to the quarterback like you talk to the offensive lineman or defensive lineman or the right back or the, you know, it's, it, teacher has 24 kids. Like if I talk to this child like this, I do not talk to this child like that. Now it's just like, listen, can you just use your words or whatever it is these people say, you know, okay, cool. That's universal. Right? Can you say please and thank you? Okay, cool.

But then there's certain tones, right? Because certain ones will challenge you and certain people will do X, Y, and Z. And then they will use either their gender, their color, their this, their that. They'll use all those types of things that goes on. Now you have to be smart enough to understand exactly what strings they're pulling on you. So for my daughter, of course, she uses tears more. And in our household, it's all men. So it's like, know, tears don't work. There's no crying in baseball. You don't do that, right? Unless you are literally something broken.

Right? If you feel a certain way, go write it down and come back and we'll talk about it. Right? There's hugs and kisses waiting for you. Other than that, I won't... I'm on the side of right. And I don't negotiate bad behavior. It won't happen. Not in life in general. Right? So my daughter one day will be a wife, hopefully. And you're getting her ready for not only the world, but for her to be taking over her family and her household.

having excuses and just getting by and just not doing it the right way. And just like my sons, don't treat women bad. Like it's just certain things you're not gonna do. You don't put up with headaches and we're not treating people bad, period. If you have to fight with someone that you supposedly love, it's either something wrong with you or something wrong with them. And I'm training you so you won't go into these situations with problems. you know, it's just a different world of how...

I parent and other people parent. I'm going to jump on you, but there is hugs and kisses waiting. So I don't, you know.

Robert (25:00)
You can see that. You can see that even, you know, on social media. I mean, it's genuine. And like when she comes into the video sometimes, I mean, it's sweet. She steals the show from you.

CUTTINO (25:14)
Yeah, she's grown -up man. Again, like I said before, it's all boys in this house. Just me and my boys and my daughter. And my mom and my sister comes periodically. But she's taking on that mother role. And she's trying to come into her own. Now she's turning 11. Into her own sexuality as a person, as a woman, as a...

You know, she's developing, she's evolving and she has amazing support. Whether it's my mom, my sister, her godmother, Sayyidina Nivella or, you know, her aunt, Kelly Badeh. Like it's just so many different people that are there for her that are women that I can't, I, I, I don't, you know, even my ex -girlfriend, you know, Mallory, she, she, they, you know, FaceTime and talk and Mallory's a nurse and she wants to be successful too. And it's like, you know, it's just like keeping successful women around her.

that think positive and are pushing forward, helps me being a single dad in this house. Right, right. It helps me, when she's with her mom, it's whatever it is over there, but she has male role models over here. And if she has male role models there that are good people, hey, that's just more the merrier. It's all good, right? But I know what we're doing over here.

Robert (26:15)
Yeah, and that's invaluable for her.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You love being a dad, don't you? Yeah, you can tell.

CUTTINO (26:37)
man, it's the best thing, man. That's the best thing. know, truthfully, Robert, what it does for me is I get excited every single day to be better. Every single day I get excited to just be better, man. I just want to be better. You know, I remember from the beginning.

Robert (26:54)
So that makes sense. Usually there's a story or there's a reason why somebody is so passionate about fatherhood, whether that's, you know, they lost their father at an early age or they weren't with them as much as they wanted to, or maybe they just had a strong male role model that showed them the value of fatherhood. Is there any story with you? Is there?

CUTTINO (27:14)
Mm

with my my fathers.

Robert (27:20)
Yeah, like what drove you to just be so passionate about being a father?

CUTTINO (27:24)
I think sometimes it's just in you as a person, but I was blessed by God and the universe to have two fathers. My stepfather passed away my rookie year, but he was my oracle. I have four parents. I was blessed to have four parents. My mom did an amazing job by picking him and my dad did an amazing job by picking my stepmom. So my stepmom is actually, her vase is right there. She passed away in 2019 and she was my baby too. And I've known her since I was a baby.

And she was young, also she was about 19, 20 when I was a baby. My mom had me when she was 19, 20. Actually she was 19 when she had me. So my dad was young too, my dad was early 20s. So I love all my parents. I was blessed. There was no bickering. My mom gets along with my dad big time.

And they're the only two that still alive. My dad and my stepdad were super cool. My mom, my stepmom, super cool. So I didn't really see chaos when it came to that type of thing. There was a lot of like, to the point where my kids thought that my stepmother was actually my mother instead of my own mom. Cause it was no, cause I called both of them mom. Right? Yeah.

Robert (28:41)
So you're surrounded by love, love and support.

CUTTINO (28:44)
uncles, aunts, grandmoms, everything. Yeah.

Robert (28:48)
Beautiful. That is absolutely. So somebody like you, though, do you have fears of being a father? Do you have any fears and fatherhood?

CUTTINO (28:57)
I don't really have fears of being a father. I think I'm really good at this. What I have fear of is I was lucky to have people that loved me that didn't make me. And I think that fear, like my ex -girlfriend, I say her name again, Mallory, she loves, loves, loves, loves, loves my kids, right? But she's younger, right? She has to live her life and she's a nurse now and she lives on the other side of the country.

Robert (29:09)
Okay, that makes sense.

CUTTINO (29:26)
You know, but to find someone like that, that loves your kids, that's work. That's gonna take time. It's a lot of things that go on. So why would you put yourself in a situation like that? I think that's the only thing that the kids don't get to see me love a partner fully. That's the only thing, right? Because the love I give them is, you know, like one night,

So funny, my birthday had just came up and my best friend flew in town, Alvin Williams, and I was out with him and I didn't tell my son that, my daughter's with her mother at that time, and I didn't tell my son that I was going to dinner. So I just left out, you know, and my door was closed, my bedroom door was closed, and it's like 10 .30 now and I get two missed calls FaceTime, and I look at the phone and I'm like, what the heck?

So I'm like, what's up? He's like, I was just checking where you at? Like, what's you doing? So I'm like, I'm just having dinner. He's like, man, you scared me. I didn't know what was going on. Like you usually don't leave the house. Like, so he's attached to me, where it's like, dad's always there, dad's never leaving, dad's cooking, dad's out back. You know what I mean? Like I went to China right before that for two weeks. And when I got back, I mean, he literally hugged me for like, was like three, four minutes, like straight, just.

Gosh, man, I can't believe. But you know, so we, I've, it's a big deal, man, especially for a man and a boy. When the boy loves their father so much, like that, right? That's a big thing. And I'm blessed. I'm blessed. All my boys, Jamal, Tino, Myles, and then my daughter Sam, all my boys love me, right? And I love them to death. I'm just happy at being a dad, man. And you know, one day if I ever meet that person that's like, welcome to the family.

Robert (30:53)
That's the best too, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah.

CUTTINO (31:20)
You know what I mean? So it's just fun, the journey.

Robert (31:23)
Yeah, you know, it's, it what's crazy and this probably doesn't happen to you. cause you're what? Like six, four or two, six, four, six, five. so my, I'm, I'm a little over six. My son is my oldest is a little over six, one. And it's the same thing. Like the other day when saw him, it was his birthday, saw him and, giving me a hug and now I'm up here, you know, and he's giving me this.

CUTTINO (31:29)
Yeah.

Robert (31:53)
This young man, sweet hug, loving hug, which is just so weird that it's not anymore. It's not, it's not even like parallel. It's me having to reach up hugging him. It's, it's amazing. So, but there is nothing better than that though, man. There isn't. Hey, so I don't want to get dark on this, but maybe let's do shift into a little bit. Do you, do you feel like when we've kind of, we've talked about this offline.

CUTTINO (32:07)
Yeah, that's funny.

No, no, it's okay, boy. You gotta be transparent.

Robert (32:22)
But do you feel there's an attack on fatherhood? And if you do, what do you think's behind it?

CUTTINO (32:29)
Yeah,

Well, I think behind it is a very, that's a different episode that we can really elaborate on because it takes so long, right? There's so many different, the Pandora's box opens and then it's like tentacles that's flying out from everywhere, right? When it comes to like what's behind it. But I think the attack, yes it is. It's to the point where if you do kind of try to voice your opinion or your feelings on being a father, being a man or the masculinity of...

Robert (32:33)
Yeah.

CUTTINO (32:59)
It's very frowned upon. It's deflecting. It's misguided. It's just so many different things where it's like, ugh, well, just get over. You fine. It's just kind of like that. And they've created this...

storyline that men are terrible, they're dead beats, they're this, they're that and two things can be true. Are there bad men? Yes. Are they, were they bad fathers? Yes. Like those things can be true, but it's like a, and it's probably a bad analogy, but I'm gonna say it anyway. It's like a guy that's coming out of prison. That's actually, of course you're a criminal because you're in prison, but it's like, I want to be better.

but society doesn't help them become better. Even prison didn't even help them before they become better. So you come back out, now you're institutionalized. So in being a father, it's like, I wanna be my best, but the court system's killing me. Everything she says, they believe. I only get visitations every two weeks. Now I'm blessed, I get my kids every day. I'm the custodial. Right, but.

Robert (33:47)
Right. No.

Yeah, yeah, you're fortunate.

CUTTINO (34:13)
There's so many, so when I voice my stuff on Instagram, I don't voice it for me, I voice it for other people because little things happen to me that I'm pretty sure big things happen to them. But it's just so many things, but it's actually turning, I see it turning more because it's more, you know, whether it's podcasts like yourselves or different avenues that men can like really express themselves. And then you see a lot of these women and mothers getting exposed to a lot of their tactics and.

being covert narcissist and that's their whole thing. They like to say narcissists so fast about a man and they don't understand that they themselves are narcissists or they build narcissists. But it's just the funniest thing. It's like an uneducated individual. And some people that are educated still say the same thing. And they just really don't understand exactly what the behavior is of a narcissist and what it looks like, right? They just think it's gender specific, which is the stupidest things in my life, right? But,

The more we fight for something we love and believe in, think time, I always say this, time discovers truth. Just keep being consistent, be a good dad, be a good man. It's definitely rough, I'm not saying it's easy, but the more we do it, the more the evolution of father, man will be seen, will be shown, right?

Robert (35:29)
Maybe it is somewhat of revolution too though. mean, maybe it is. And I agree with you. I do feel like there's been this upswelling a little bit, not to the sense that I want it, not to the level that I think it needs to be. But I do feel like there has definitely been an upswelling of support of men realizing that for so long they've been put down, for so long they have

just sat back and done nothing. really where they're viewed in society. I look, I feel that a lot of the issues with society today, those issues are caused by the lack of fathers. It's the destruction of the family unit. honestly, Cuttino we've kind of sat back.

CUTTINO (36:19)
Yeah, facts, facts.

Robert (36:27)
and let that happen.

CUTTINO (36:28)
We're not aggressive in it. It's actually our faults.

Robert (36:28)
You know?

No, because then we get shame for being aggressive, right? We're toxic. Yeah.

CUTTINO (36:35)
Right, right. toxic masculinity is so... I just want to like wring a person's neck when I hear toxic masculinity. Like the only toxicity...

Men are not toxic. That's this. Are they masculine and aggressive? Yes, but they're not toxic. Right? Like I go, daughter's 10 and going to 11. The mean girl phase, the toxic, the cattiness, the talking about each other, the putting each other down, emotional abuse, all that. That starts at little girls at like first, second, third grade. Then they become women. That's not boys. Boys just like, give me a banana. Let me swing. Let me do this.

Robert (36:50)
But that's the role.

yeah. Yeah.

CUTTINO (37:15)
I don't know, run into a tree, they don't care. But then you start getting older, now all these women, they together, they get together in these little groups and all of a sudden, being a single dad, I go to different, you when I pick up my daughter, especially when she was younger, I see like these little cliques of moms, high school. And then these groups talk about this group and this group don't like their husband and this group does this and this group does this and they're all driving fancy cars and they're all doing X, Y, and Z and they're all blah, blah,

Robert (37:19)
True.

yeah.

CUTTINO (37:42)
And it's like, you guys are like children. You're like children. And like, you know, it's the way they talk to their daughters. And now they're like mini -mes now. They're like running around like mini -mes, like this despicable me. And it's the weirdest thing. It's like, that's not toxic. I mean, that's not masculine. That's toxic. But you want to put it to the man when the man tried to stick up for himself. And then all of a sudden you like the Alpha Sigma man that's walking through the courtyard of the school.

Robert (38:00)
That's toxic.

CUTTINO (38:10)
but then like you put your husband down. But then when he starts to talk about himself, all of a sudden you start to cry. It's like the weirdest behavior that goes on, right? And I see it with little girls. When you try to confront them about something they've done, it's tears first, it's manipulation, it's this, it's that, and then you fold. And then you let your guard down. It's like.

Robert (38:31)
I feel like the roles have...

And this is a whole nother episode. But I feel like the roles have reversed. Maybe not totally in breadwinner, but the roles in the home and the way people have viewed their roles. And look, I'm all for advancements. I'm all for equality and everything else. But there's roles for a husband. There's roles for a mom.

CUTTINO (38:39)
Mm

Robert (38:57)
I look, it goes back to biblical times. mean, there's roles for each of them. And I feel a lot of those issues stem to once you start blurring those lines. And once the female starts taking on more of the masculine role or starts becoming more masculine in the home, there's gotta be resentment there. And there's gotta be resentment on the husband, I would hope, think, expect.

CUTTINO (39:23)
Listen, Do know what's funny?

Robert (39:23)
when he's put into a more feminine role.

CUTTINO (39:27)
You have a household. Let's say you have a business. There's chairman, CEO, president, vice president, blah, blah, blah, COO, CFO, whatever you want to call them, however you want to like them. There's basketball. There's the one or two or three or four or five. There's coaches, assistant coach. There's this, right? Everybody has a position. No one tries to do the other person's position. If you do, you get traded. You get out of here, you're fired. Household. Little girl, little boy, mom, dad.

Robert (39:46)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

CUTTINO (39:56)
Mom says, every time in the house, mom says what mom says goes. Guess what? Little girl gets her own house. Little girl has her own family. Mom comes in.

Mom says goes What mom? Which mom now?

Right? Mom and daughter starts to butt heads. This is my house. This is my rules. What's the guy saying? well, I gotta go with my wife. She's my wife, sir. Right? So it's like, it's this hierarchy of like, I don't think they really understand position. Right? And it's like, if you know your position within that household, as a family, as a unit, don't embarrass your wife. You don't embarrass your husband.

Robert (40:10)
Yeah. Yep.

Yep. Yep.

No, that's a point.

CUTTINO (40:37)
This is what's gonna be happening. You go with me, you don't go with me. Even if you're wrong, I'll pull you to the side. Like listen, let's just go about this a different way. And then we go together, we go together, okay, let's talk about it to everybody else. But it's like, they want full control of everything. And then when something goes wrong, well, why didn't you help? no, did you have shit of, and it's this and it's like, you gotta pick and choose, right? You can't start the fight.

Robert (41:04)
Yep. Yep.

CUTTINO (41:06)
And then when they start shooting bullets, all of a sudden you want me to shield you. That's not how it's gonna work. Don't work like that in life, right? Everybody has a position. Everybody has a, a tire doesn't argue with the engine. The engine doesn't argue with the seat or the steering wheel. Everything has its place so the car can move.

Robert (41:12)
Nah.

Yeah, great point. That's great. So advice, advice for fathers. What can we do better?

CUTTINO (41:31)
I just say stay, not just for fathers, but people in general, but of course, because this is a podcast for men and fathers, just stay consistent, right? Stay in the fight, right? Condition yourself and like, know how when you go on this track, if it's basketball, if it's boxing, if it's soccer, whatever it is, the most conditioned athlete is the best athlete, right? Work on your fundamentals. That means the teachers, the principals, the vice principals, the doctors, the dentists.

do what your child loves, that's your fundamentals.

Know that, know your world, know their world, know those things. Become a pro at that. Once you become a pro at that, you know, know their friends, go to their school, walk them to the school, take them to the school, take them to the park, spend those extra time. I do all that stuff. Now I'm not saying everybody has to do it, but I do all that stuff. And then also too is people go through life searching for answers. No, no, no, no, no, no. Ask God to give you the insight, the intelligence to ask.

the right question, then the answer won't be hard to find.

Right?

Robert (42:37)
I love it. I love it. I love it. There you go. More wisdom. Cuttino's wisdom hour. We need a book, Cuttino. We need something from you, man. You've got to leave us with something. You have to.

CUTTINO (42:49)
Yeah, man, I'm working on a book right now. Yeah, I'm a perfectionist, so it's taking some time. I'm just trying to find my voice in it because there's so many things that I have in my head, but I'm working on something right now. And again, it's trial or never, right? I have two older boys. I have an amazing 14 -year -old and an amazing daughter who's turning 11. So me teaching people how to parent.

Robert (42:54)
Are you?

Yeah.

CUTTINO (43:18)
It's not there yet because my children aren't grown yet. A lot of people teach you how to parent. They don't even have kids or kids are not even grown. Right. Or they're not even grown yet. It's like, till the, before you pick the fruit off the tree and tell everybody how to do it. Let pick the food off the tree first before you sit there and try to tell people how to raise somebody.

Robert (43:23)
Right. don't you love that?

Yeah.

They've got a two and four year old and they're telling you how to raise your, your teenagers. You know, it's like, what the hell? Like, what the hell do you know? Well, all I read in the book I saw on Instagram.

CUTTINO (43:38)
Yeah, it's like, yeah, go kick rocks. Yeah, exactly. is what's going for me. Yeah, meanwhile, when he turned 10 to 14 to 15, you know, they're on a speed chase or something like that. don't know what else. Yep, there.

Robert (43:56)
Yeah. So you are working on a book. Love it. Love it. I love it. All right. What did what did we miss?

CUTTINO (44:04)
nothing much.

Robert (44:05)
Right. How can people find you?

CUTTINO (44:09)
Right now, I'm gonna set up a YouTube and start doing posts on YouTube three times a week within the next 30 days. right now, Cuttino's Life on Instagram. I'm on Instagram, Cuttino's Life. You can find me.

Robert (44:24)
Yeah, and I highly, highly recommend everybody to follow Cuttino. And, you know, I remember I had some post up and I think you liked it or commented and I was just looking through and I wrote you back. I'm like, wait, is this the Cuttino Mobley Cause I was like shocked. mean, I was still new and I'm new now, but I was like, whoa, this can't be him man. And, but yeah. And then I

CUTTINO (44:41)
I'm sorry.

That's fun.

Robert (44:52)
was following you and it's like, yeah, I love your page, love your stories and your lives and just keep doing what you're doing and keep spreading that wisdom and promoting fatherhood. I think you do just a wonderful job of doing that and one of the stars out there. So I appreciate you, I definitely do. Hey look, and also thanks for taking time out. I know you're busy, I know you've got a lot going on, live demands, you're playing basketball in a little bit.

CUTTINO (45:13)
Thank you so much, man. I appreciate you too.

Robert (45:22)
But the head. Well, hey, is this shot still real sweet? Is it?

CUTTINO (45:24)
I'm just gonna watch today. I'm not gonna play.

yeah, for sure. That's not leaving. I just need a little more time to get it off, but that's not leaving.

Robert (45:34)
There you go. There you go. All right. Well, look, hey, thanks everybody for listening to Dad Dad's podcast. You can find us on most podcast platforms as well as on YouTube and Instagram. Don't forget to hit the like and subscribe button and leave a comment. read every one of them and I love also receiving the feedback and we'll see you all next time.