Navigating the Autism Journey: A Father's Perspective

Summary

In this conversation, Michael Pereira shares his journey as a father navigating the challenges of raising a child with autism. He discusses the emotional rollercoaster of diagnosis, the importance of acceptance, and the need for proactive planning for the future. Michael emphasizes the significance of community support, celebrating small victories, and the necessity of being informed and prepared as parents. His advocacy work through his blog, The Autism Voyage, aims to provide resources and support for families facing similar challenges.

Takeaways

• Michael Pereira emphasizes the importance of community support for families with special needs children.
• Acceptance of a child's diagnosis is crucial for effective parenting and planning.
• Parents should focus on celebrating small victories in their child's development.
• It's essential to seek information and be proactive in addressing a child's needs.
• Michael's journey highlights the emotional challenges faced by parents during the diagnosis phase.
• The importance of being aligned with a partner in navigating parenting challenges is crucial.
• Planning for the future, including financial and care considerations, is vital for parents of special needs children.
• Michael advocates for a curious mindset when seeking information about autism and related resources.
• Each child on the spectrum has unique strengths and needs that should be recognized and nurtured.
• The Autism Voyage blog serves as a resource for parents seeking guidance and community support. 

Transcript

Robert (00:00)
Michael, welcome to the podcast.

Michael Pereira (00:02)
Thank you so much for having me.

Robert (00:04)
Man, I tell you what, I so appreciate you coming on. You know, as we've talked through a few conversations, autism is so much in the news. seems like more so than ever. It's just whether it's the increase in diagnosis or just the awareness. And when you reached out, wanted to come on and speak about it and being a father, you know, that is experiencing this with their children.

I really appreciate it. I'm really looking forward to this interview. So thank you.

Michael Pereira (00:35)
Thank you for the opportunity. Once again, I do feel that this is a underserved community and I hope this really resonates with your audience.

Robert (00:45)
Yeah, I'm sure it will. So before we really jump in or as we really jump into this, me your story.

Michael Pereira (00:54)
So I came from corporate America. would say I traveled 70-80 % of the time for years. I would say 10-12 years. So based on that lifestyle which was already, I would say, high pressure. Based on that lifestyle, my...

and myself, we wanted to build what we call the American dream. Got married, bought a house, got pregnant with Christian. And you know, that was the lifestyle and I thought I was going to be in corporate until I retired. But that wasn't the case, right? Life throws you a curve ball and you got to do the best. I would say around, Christian was around one year old, we started seeing some symptoms that we knew that

something, it's not that something wasn't right, but it for us as new parents, right? It seemed like off, off, off, off board. we just digested it in a different way. We were in denial, I would say in some point when we saw those symptoms, we started researching, going to Google and the more we researched, the more denial we...

Plus having friends, family saying, don't worry. He doesn't have anything. You were the same when you were little or it's dangerous. that, I would say that phase of denial plus who you're listening to because if there is a diagnosis.

that can procrastinate any early intervention, right? And thank God it didn't happen to us because he was only one year old. We were very present and we knew that we needed to tackle this. But I would imagine other cases that that denial prolongs for years. And at the end of the day, that could affect the child's outcome. long story short, COVID came by. A lot of the symptoms we saw just reduced.

I know because I was here, didn't have to travel. But when COVID released, that everybody started travel, I started looking for other employers to see if I can do the same but travel less. That wasn't the case. You wear different hats when you go into other employers until you get set. And it came to a point that a lot of those symptoms when COVID released that I started traveling again, just returned back full force.

Robert (03:19)
Sure.

Michael Pereira (03:29)
hitting his head against the wall, tippy-toeing, aligning stuff. He was non-verbal at that point. He was going to speech therapy and it became, it was three years and a half ago. He's going to be seven next month.

Robert (03:38)
How old was he roughly?

Michael Pereira (03:44)
So, but it came to a point that even going to speech therapy, because he was nonverbal at that point, it became very difficult because out of a 45 minute session, half an hour was a meltdown. Five minutes was trying to re, you know, re initiate the session and 10 minutes of therapy was, we weren't taking advantage. So we knew that we needed to address that at that point, that issue. So obviously we got him to a neurologist and so forth.

and all the, everything he needed to go to to get diagnosed. Off of the bat, he was diagnosed because obviously those symptoms were very present. And at that point, I would say that a lot of questions from my side started to come up. Obviously in silence, they didn't talk to a lot of people about it, but questions around, okay, now, now's the acceptance phase, right? Now, it's not denial, it's there.

what happens if I pass away? Who's going to take care of him? He's, you know, at that point he was very hyper, like I mentioned, verbal, non-verbal. Now he's verbal, thankfully. Now he's to a point that when you say, hey, how are you? He's going to say Shrek or Kung Fu Panda, but he's saying stuff, right?

But at that point, I started asking a lot of questions. Like again, what if I pass away? What if my wife passes away? You know, started dealing, I would say deep diving into our, at that point, my employer coverage plan to see what the ins and outs. And when I started looking for my own financial planner advisor, everybody just wanted to sell me something, recruit me. Nobody really took the time to talk to me about how now Special Needs Trust, guardianships, power,

how life insurance... No, and you know, and how do you use life insurance to fund a special needs trust, for example. It was very transactional and just got frustrated because it happened to me several times and...

Robert (05:33)
So there are no resources really out there.

Michael Pereira (05:46)
Long story short, I just parted ways with the corporate world and decided to embark this to help families like mine. And I decided to do it through a blog. I'm an advocate in education first. I'm not salesy, I'm not pushy, so I believe in adding value first, providing educational material. And if, that person, family is ready to talk, well, hopefully they remember us. So that's it.

Robert (06:14)
Yeah.

Hey, I want to go back.

I guess you would say sort of the discovery or you haven't truly discovered it, but you start having those thoughts in your heads. You're getting confirmation through Google. you really kind of know this is it. And now you're just waiting for the doctor to give you that news. I bet that is so common. And do you mind sharing kind of a little more what that, what that's like during that time?

Michael Pereira (06:42)
Well, I would say that phase, there's a lot of mixed emotions, right? think it's...

One, it puts you scared because you don't know what's going to happen. You thought that your son was going to be a baseball player and all that. Not in my case, obviously for me, I just wanted a healthy baby. But for other families I'm talking about. But when you have an idea in your mind and and it's life throws you a curve ball, know, it's the way you react. And I think that a lot of emotions in my case went through my mind from being uncertain from my

Robert (06:57)
Mm-hmm.

Michael Pereira (07:19)
ego from how do I express this to family friends you know because you are scared of judgment at the end of the day you are scared not scared but you are trying to avoid having that judgment because a lot of people again like I mentioned before when your family says don't worry hey don't be so hard on him hey don't do it gets to a point that your circle starts shrinking because you're trying to avoid those type of environments so

In my case, that discovery phase, a lot of emotions came by. A lot of my circle went smaller. I started to get more curious. That's something that obviously I saw that opportunity of improvement for myself because it gave me this sense of curiosity because I didn't trust anybody.

And then, you know, a lot of things go through your mind until, the marriage also gets, in my case, got tighter. I got more in sync with my wife. We started to talk about goals, started talking about the hard conversations, which I think without the situation, it would have happened but later down the road. yeah, until we accepted

that it's not our fault, it's our problem, right? It's not our fault that our child has autism, which is vile, but it's our problem and we need to take accountability.

Robert (08:45)
Yeah.

family and friends during that time, I know we talked a little bit about it, but during that denial acceptance phase, what kind of feedback did you get from, what kind of feedback did you get from them? Because that's a situation, even though the rates are, they say are higher now, it's, it's not something I'm asking you this one selfishly. want to know, like, how can, how can friends and families support somebody who

might think they have a child that is on the spectrum or, and also what did, what did you see? And we're not trying to throw friends and family under the bus here, but this is a.

Michael Pereira (09:26)
Yeah.

No, my suggestion would be, I'm going to answer in two ways. So my suggestion for families who are starting this journey, either with family members who are getting diagnosed at their later years or so forth, just understand that

Each person or child is different. There's not one size fit. There's not a diagnosis that's one size fits all. Each child has its own unique needs, goals, and I would say skills because even if see Christian, he memorizes a movie and I would say, man, how can I do that,

or he reads so fast, but at the same time, he cannot have a conversation. you see stuff that I would suggest any family to just have this open mind and acceptance that that child comes with a lot of comes with a lot of strengths and skill sets that for me, it's very important that everybody involved in that child's life, someway, somehow tries to support that, right? To support those strengths to support those skills.

and not concentrate on the weaknesses, on the behaviors that leave that for the parents. So I would suggest having empathy when communicating, how to evaluate the way you're communicating to that family member who's going through that phase so you don't sound judgmental but supportive.

You know that I would suggest that from my case it was it was more or less the the same Thankfully, I have good support plus We also try not only from families, but try to create a community outside like for example Christian started jujitsu. I would say eight months ago. That's a very very good tight-knit community that are very Family-oriented everybody's there to help. It's like a mini family

Robert (11:27)
community.

Michael Pereira (11:33)
and

if you don't have a family or a close family or a large family member try to also look for that type of community support that at the end of the day will help you, will help the child, the development, everything. I think it makes it easier.

Robert (11:49)
Why do you, outside of the family, why do you think Jiu Jitsu is so beneficial to him? Outside of the close knit family, is it the physical interaction and getting the energy out or what is that?

Michael Pereira (12:01)
I think it's a lot of factors. Like one, we started with Christian in soccer. He has something.

that he has he usually does it it's elopement which is just runs away and when he being in soccer imagine the open field he would just run away and you know it was hard so we didn't want that because obviously we want to keep him safe when he we tried swimming he saw it as a play date he just loves water so he couldn't concentrate but in jujitsu obviously it's it's four walls and there's this type of I would say

that he wants to imitate the big boys, right? So you see him trying to be social, you see him trying to be like the other kids who are active, you see them because they're doing everything at the same time, it looks like a team. And I think that energy, exhausting that energy, that's something that we were looking for because that's, you know, I wanna...

I say it this way, but we were giving him a lot of tablets and putting the TV and we got to a point that we wanted to take him out of that because it can become addictive, right? So that's the main reason.

Robert (13:15)
makes sense. So I'm so happy you shared some of his special gifts that he has, like, you know, be able to sit down and just read a book so quickly or memorize a movie so quickly, which still is amazing to me when you look at somebody, you know, the ones I've seen, like, how can they it's, it's almost like a supercomputer that's just running so fast. Like, how can they absorb this? How can they memorize this? And, you know, you look at even

Alon Musk, you know, coming out, being autistic. mean, there's a lot of people, think even Bill Gates had said, you know, that he would probably be diagnosed as being autistic, but it's amazing. Just the brain power that's in there. Are there, what other special traits? Because it's not like these kids, I think some of the misconceptions and I definitely want to go in some of the misconceptions, but I think some of the misconceptions are, are

that maybe they can't truly function as an adult or just that it's just life is gonna be hard, but there's so many things that they excel at. Do you mind sharing some of those?

Michael Pereira (14:31)
Of course, of course. So I think it's also, I think it's also important that the child, I believe, and again, I'm not saying that this is confirmed or anything, but I'm talking from my perspective that...

That comes from the household. The dad and the mom need to be present, need to be synced up and understand that, again, if he has a, I don't know, a skill set that he really, or doesn't have it, he loves music or he's very, he or her are very active or try to see as a parent, how can you excel, help him or her excel. So a lot of misconceptions

I

would say again that this is not a one-size-fits-all. This diagnosis is not a one-size-fits-all. Not everybody that gets diagnosed is going to experience the same things. No, I don't believe in that. I don't believe in labeling. Because when, again, when you, I believe when you label too much a child, he's gonna believe it, right? So I just feel not labeling him. And again, just focus on the

positives, work on those weaknesses for that to become some way somehow any strength. the misconception for me in general is just thinking that the diagnosis is going to be the same for every child. Not being open. Correct. And that's what I was going to say. And maybe not being as open that

Robert (15:59)
Well, that's why it's an umbrella, right? When they

Michael Pereira (16:07)
it may be crossing over to another thing. Like for example, I've heard of cases that maybe they're so hyper that they even have ADHD with it, right? So forth, so just being curious, having that curious sense that just see everything as curiosity, don't see it as negative, don't be closed, don't close every door that comes in front of you. Because again, it's going to cause, it's going to be worse.

Robert (16:34)
great. What just out of curiosity, you said music, what type music does he like?

Michael Pereira (16:38)
Usually he likes music movie themes like for a kung fu panda Shrek Puts and Boots and all that but he loves What's the music when you he has when he goes to white noise

So I don't know if it's considered music but just sounds itself like the ocean He loves classical music. He's also taking piano classes once a week So I think that that mellow that mellow music I would say calms him

Robert (17:04)
Wow.

That's interesting because, you know, after we spoke, was looking and I can't remember who it was. some pianists, some composer that they think that if, know, they were to go back and I can't, pardon my ignorance, I can't remember who it was, but if they were to go back, they would, he would probably probably been diagnosed with autism, you know, somewhere on the spectrum. just, he found so much.

joy, relaxation, know, in composing and putting together the music that hadn't been put together the way it had, which I thought was really interesting, you know.

Michael Pereira (17:58)
So music. You know, I just feel that that sound just for Christian, you know, just calms him down plus puts him like, and not only calming, now that I'm thinking about it, it also helps him focus because he's looking for the next thing, right? Also that's something now thinking about it that he does a lot. So maybe increase focus and just calming him down to be able to focus, right?

Robert (18:06)
Peaceful.

Yeah.

Yeah, that

makes sense. All right. So you talked about acceptance. You talked a little bit about that. I want to go more into that. But you also talked about the marriage. And when you said that, and I know we talked about offline.

But when you say that, it's like, man, I bet that is tough on or can be tough on so many parents. You know, it's tough with anything when there's a change in schedule with your children or, you know, different things. It's tough on that mother father dynamic, but I can only imagine when you get this diagnosis, do you know, I didn't look up, but do you know anything?

I imagine, I would imagine divorce is fairly prevalent when it, when it comes to.

Michael Pereira (19:12)
I saw the other day again, I don't know if this is a accurate source, but I saw and I think it was Google or any other platform that mentions that right now like neurotypical families are like 50 % rate, but with special needs it increases like to 80%. Yeah, yeah, and it I can see why you know for us we just when you

I don't know how say this, like when you just let go your ego because you know just let's look at the benefit of the child or even children because for example my household there's Christian who obviously is diagnosed, he's mild but we also have Amanda, she's three, she's not, she's neurotypical we need to also be aligned and trying to find that balance that each one feels even though she's young but she can

Obviously she's smart enough to understand the differences and all that. So I think finding that balance that be able to make everybody feel supported in their own way for us as a marriage is be aligned in our goals and our needs and be supportive of each other. You know, this is not a war zone. This is not about what I say or you say or I did this. You did this wrong or blame. Yeah, no, no. think that

Robert (20:34)
are blaming.

Michael Pereira (20:38)
actually now having this conversation with you, actually it's been some while since we had, when you are so concentrated on the well-being of the family, like it's very difficult for you to even go and get into a conversation, an argument because you're so focused and it becomes a very, very, I would say warm environment.

Robert (21:02)
Yeah, I think when you have something like that, tend to maybe you tend to go one or two ways, right? You if the ego is involved, there might be blaming. And look, I know it is there has to have there has to be a lot of challenges with having a child that has autism. But I think you go one or two ways either it can really tear you apart or

it pulls you together. It's the same thing when you lose, you know, there's a lot of statistics out there about when a couple loses a child and the, divorce rate for those couples is extremely high. And unfortunately I know a couple when, you know, they lost a child very young to drowning and they have remained together and they have a strong marriage. It's not without its challenges.

but they have remained together. I know that can't, it cannot be easy. yeah, I think focusing on that goal, are there any other tips that you would?

Michael Pereira (22:08)
You know, just for us, we have this mindset of, know, again, it's only if I mention it to you offline or here that it's not, we came into a terms that it's not our fault, but it's our problem.

So it's not our fault that he was diagnosed, but it's our problem. And this accountability needs to really sink in, right? You know, life happens, it's not our fault, and we need to really understand that. A lot of parents think that when there's a diagnosis, oh, because of me, because even I've heard in some cases mothers say, but within the pregnancy, I don't know if I ate too much of something and that had too much metals. No, you know, just take it.

the way for example the way we saw it is that okay just it's not our fault it's our problem and we need to be accountable that phrase I there was a coach called there is a coach called during minor he's like salesy and business and that quote that he just he mentioned that at that point it's what we helped us like apply it to this it's not our fault but it's our problem and how can we be accountable how can we take ownership of this situation

and not rely on any government, not rely on anything, not go into this victim mentality. At the end of the day, this is it and let's move forward.

Robert (23:38)
You know, it's interesting because

when we were, we were talking offline, I think it was yesterday as well. I, you do have that mindset because I was questioning you and I was questioning, do you think it could be from vaccines? Do you think it could be from this? And there was nothing in your mind. was nothing that you express that could, you know, you don't know, but there was nothing in your, your

where you wanted to lay blame. It was more like, you know, these are the cards were dealt. These are the cards we're playing, not looking back, I'm looking forward. And I think that is so beautiful and so valuable for any parent, whether it's a parent that has a child that is, you know, autistic or whatever it may be is.

Don't play the blame game and focus on that focus on going forward. And that's, that's what you guys do. Right. That's beautiful.

Michael Pereira (24:36)
and being curious,

yeah, no, thank you, thank you. And I just think, Robert, moving forward brings clarity, right? As you move, you weed out what functions, what doesn't. And...

when you have clarity, you know what you're working with. I've seen a lot of parents that even though they know they don't look for a diagnosis and it takes time, they procrastinate. And I think I mentioned this to you, like that denial phase, I understand because I went through it, but the longer that denial phase stays, for me, again, this may sound bad, but for me it's.

It's how selfish you are, right? Because if I'm in denial for years and I'm just thinking about how I feel and my child still hasn't gotten care and still is not progressing and they still, who am I to blame? Myself, I'm not acting because I'm only thinking about how I feel. Oh, I feel this. I don't think he has any, I, you know, it comes to a point like, man, you gotta deal with it. If you know that it's a topic that comes up

Robert (25:20)
Yeah.

Michael Pereira (25:47)
the time even if you're even if you're alone you know that you have that type of feeling your gut feeling that that child or anybody has a possible I don't know issue that needs to be addressed go to a professional man

Robert (26:05)
That's great. That's great. And you know,

so much in society, we want to blame, we want to find the reason why this has happened to us or why this has happened to this person. And I mean, that's okay. But I think we get too bogged down in that and not looking forward. And I think it's, I think it's beautiful the way you and your wife are so aligned in going forward. And this is it. We're going forward. I think that's, I think that's beautiful.

Michael Pereira (26:32)
That's it.

Robert (26:33)
Hey, so you kind of touched on it, but let's go into it more. when, after you accepted and they're probably, you know, you kind of alluded to this, there was an aha moment of, okay, this is our life. What do we need to do? How do we prepare for this?

you sound like you're very strategic and thinking about life, thinking of going forward and realizing, hey, we need to have this set up and that set up and we need to make sure for care and everything else if something happens, which is great because I imagine a lot of parents, a lot of times they don't, but can you go into that more of what do you wish was there?

Or what you didn't find, maybe what you found, but what you didn't find. And then how let's go into how you're, you are also trying to help those same people that are in that position and not finding that care and actually where they can talk to somebody, you know, get information from you and talk to somebody that has been down that same road versus somebody that hasn't. that knows what they're going through.

Michael Pereira (27:44)
Yeah, I would say this is an underserved community. And I would say that this is why I started my blog, The Autism Voyage. It's because when we started in this journey, would say, even if you go to the internet, you're going to see so much information that sometimes you're going to get overwhelmed.

I was looking for a centralized place that not only talked to me about government benefits or anything because usually that goes into all their topics and the qualification, but somebody in general talked to me as a parent. What should I watch out for? What questions do I need to ask myself? Or just stuff that doesn't have to go through an application, right? Just in general. And I couldn't find anything.

did it was it wasn't like a deep dive site that had different type of topics because again

My reflection time was at 2 a.m., 3 a.m. because I couldn't sleep. Just crawling, just looking. So I would imagine other parents do the same when the kids are asleep and all that. So I was looking for a place that, again, has centralized information and that's how I created the Autism Boys. The Autism Boys is just a blog, I would say. It's just a site that caters to what I would say any parent, topics around,

what any parent would ask themselves. Like what's music therapy? Is ABA only for autism? How, for example, haircuts, which that's for autism, the sensory, having a machine, it's very difficult when you have that sensory overload. You know, even martial arts for special needs, all these topics, I wanted to share it with other families and that's how I created it. Now, from there,

It's what I do to serve families, is provide more comprehensive, I would say, insurance planning. I'm not a planner. I don't do any Bitcoin. I don't do any investments. don't do none of that. That's perfectly fine. But for me, I just...

One, I offer what I believe in. I believe in insurance planning, why to create a foundation. Because for example, I focus on three main areas. The first one, and again, I'm not talking about a product, I'm more talking about a problem statement. Like for example, Christian depends on me 100%.

And the uncertainty is that I don't know until when. I think his autism, based on all the therapies we're doing, hopefully at one point he's going to be independent. But I don't know when that's going to be. So can be 18, it can be 40, it can be in two years. I don't know. So if he depends on me 100%.

I'm talking just about Christian, but he, and I get cancer. I get a stroke. I get into a car crash or something happens to me that I'm two years, three years out. How am I, what's my plan B? That's something that a lot of parents overlook. Why? Because maybe one of the mistakes is you're relying too much on your employer, short-term, long-term disability, for example, which usually falls short.

but you want to have something that you don't dig in your life savings, your 401ks and all that. there is a coverage that would replace your income, which for me is very important because if I'm going through that condition or illness, I want to concentrate on recuperating and not knowing how I'm going to pay the house. So that's one of the offerings I do. The other one is funding special needs trust with life insurance.

Robert (31:24)
Right.

Michael Pereira (31:37)
There's a lot of options. People use real estate, brokerage accounts, savings accounts. But for me as a father, that fluctuates either with the market or if it's your savings, you're gonna fluctuate because of you.

I prefer life insurance to fund, it as a funding mechanism for a special needs trust because for me it's reliable, it's predictable. As long as I pay the premiums, I know how much it's going to be there to fund that trust if I pass away within that term I selected, if anything. And the third area I concentrate is long-term care. And again, this goes back more or less to the same concept of disability because again, I don't know until when Christian is going to depend on me.

If I'm 80 years old and I need care for myself, nursing homes and assisting living facilities are becoming very expensive. So this type of coverage would cater to that problem statement that if you need to take care of yourself by when you're 80, I don't know, whatever age you need care.

Robert (32:31)
yeah.

Michael Pereira (32:41)
it would obviously disemburse to be able to provide that for you. So that's my main thing. Obviously, I'm thinking about this year, I have other projects to include even more services, but for now, it's just these are the type of solutions I provide because I believe in them as a father.

Robert (32:58)
I want to ask you this with the policies, are they are they expensive? they that?

Michael Pereira (33:03)
Depends depends, you know, and that's one of the mistakes I would say even even apply for me that it the longer you wait It's gonna get worse. No, nobody likes to hear that but as you get older everything becomes more expensive, right? So It's not the same an underwriter reviewing a 27 year old 36 versus a 58 60

Robert (33:16)
does.

Michael Pereira (33:26)
you know and and not only age your health right if it goes through underwriting they're going to see all those factors so based on that they're going to price it out because you're going to be ranked at a certain tier so

As the same way I say don't procrastinate in early intervention, the same way when there's hard conversations such as your finances, don't wait. Even if it's to make a budget, just don't wait. Understand what's coming in, what's going out. Understand how that affects your child. Make a plan. doesn't have to be with me. Just try to engage in conversations with professionals.

Congratulations.

Robert (34:11)
Hey, of curiosity, you said you were in the corporate world before. What were you doing?

Michael Pereira (34:15)
was an enterprise software more directed toward Latin America.

Robert (34:19)
Isn't it interesting? I mean, just how this has shifted you so much and that you have taken this experience that you that you're going through and are using it now to help other people that are going through this. And I think that's, you know, it's beautiful. I don't, don't think originally you were probably looking out to, I hope I can profit from this.

Michael Pereira (34:25)
yeah.

No,

Robert (34:45)
but it more

came out of care and out of your heart of wanting to help first other people and being able to relate and support them in this journey and then turning around, how can I support them even further through this?

Michael Pereira (35:02)
Yeah,

that's why obviously the blog provides value first. I also have a newsletter that goes out weekly just providing resources.

Robert (35:06)
Yeah.

Michael Pereira (35:12)
And again, if I would just be for the transactional portion, you would just see me putting funnels down there, just getting leads. And that's not the way for me. It's just providing educational material, just resources. And if when you want to talk about it, by all means. And again, for me, from from my perspective, another thing, Robert, there's no secret sauce. There's no secret product. The same products I provide, any insurance agent can provide them.

I cannot come here and say, no, I mean, there's new concept. No, there's nothing innovative or it's the same thing, old school products have been sold. I just, for me, it's not just, you're not acquiring a policy. think you're acquiring a strategy because for example, as a use case, a lot of conversations go about, if you pass away and you get a term policy as an example.

your family's going to stay with so and so, so much money. And the first thing I would say when I had those conversations was say, yeah, but what if I don't die?

Robert (36:19)
Yeah.

Michael Pereira (36:19)
What if I get sick? That policy is not going to do anything for me. I need to know what's going to happen if I get sick, I'm in bed, and I cannot pay my house. And maybe my employer coverage, if I am employed, it falls short because of my expenses. Or if I'm self-employed, what's going to happen? Because obviously, if you do come into this higher income bracket, most likely you don't have any benefits from government. So it's going to be even harder to afford. And I just, again, I think it from a

Different

standpoint even even just talking about normal coverage. Hey, have you thought about? Your guardian like if you pass away who's going to assume respond if the child is not 18 Who's going to assume responsibility for that child if that?

person who's going to assume responsibility needs to leave their work because now they're a caregiver. Is that life insurance that you're thinking about or that you do have already considered income for that guardian? Right? Because they're assuming responsibility.

And not only from financial point of view, also from estate planning, you you gotta talk to those lawyers, get those conversations running, understand how that works because obviously those wishes that you want go in whatever plan you create with the lawyer, right? So, yeah.

Robert (37:43)
It's interesting. Yeah,

that's very interesting. So with your blog, you share all of that in there, right? You share different things people need to be thinking about, parents need to be thinking about, probably even sharing your journey as well in there, correct?

Michael Pereira (38:04)
In the in not in the about me I think I share more my journey on the newsletter than the blog itself the blog each blog is Created I would say with different type of sources if I'm I would love to say I'm an author I'm a writer at the end of the day. I'm not I put their curator because I use different

Robert (38:23)
Michael,

maybe that is something down the road for you to think about. That was an interesting look on your face when I said that, but.

Michael Pereira (38:27)
Yeah, maybe. It could be. No, but the

blog, I...

The way I create each blog is, either with reasoning, my assistant also helps me. We use AI to write them. They may sound basic in some cases, or general information, but we believe it's just a good start to somebody who's just reading about it and just wants some information. So we use AI, we use other sources to just create them. But the newsletter is the one that I think it's more personal because I share more stories.

things that happen to me and so forth.

Robert (39:08)
How do people find your blog? How do people reach out and find you?

Michael Pereira (39:12)
Just www.autismfoyage.com and you're going to it. Yeah.

Robert (39:16)
TheAutismVoyage.com.

Are you guys on social media at all?

Michael Pereira (39:22)
Yeah, I'm trying to put my efforts a lot on LinkedIn, know, keeping up with Facebook, Instagram, I'm trying to, but just trying to see if I can focus in one channel. So I'm, I know, I know.

Robert (39:35)
It's tough. Social media is a beast.

um, I, I am on social media. Um, I am on social media with the podcast and also personally, and I don't like social media. I just don't, it's like, Oh, I've got to make an Instagram poster. Oh, I've got to do this. I would rather just talk to people. Um, but you to do it. So

Michael Pereira (39:55)
stop.

Yeah, me too.

you have to do.

Robert (40:03)
Do you have Instagram or anything like that that you want to?

Michael Pereira (40:08)
I do, I do, but you know, I've been for years, I have an account, but it's more just to see what other people post or... no, no, no. Now is when this year I want to get involved a little bit more from a personal standpoint as I want to share stories.

Robert (40:16)
So nothing with the autism voyage though. Okay.

I bet your reach, I bet you would be surprised at the reach if you did. cause honestly, I never thought, you know, year and a half ago when I started posting on Instagram, when I started this and then, you know, afterwards started posting on Instagram, I never thought that many dads or even parents would care to even listen or, you know, care about, you know, okay, it's two dads talking to each other or it's talking about dad subject, your parents subjects.

Michael Pereira (40:31)
Do you think?

Robert (40:55)
I never thought, no, I've actually, it's not that I have this huge following, but I never thought that that many people would be interested. It's a lot more than I ever thought it would be. So that might be something. think your future goals, not that you don't have enough on your plate already. First is expand the Instagram or expand the social media. And the second is really start thinking about maybe a book, maybe a kind of a step-by-step or.

Michael Pereira (40:55)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Robert (41:21)
You know, your

journey and what you the holes that you that you see out there and you know how to help how to help others. Because I think you have a lot to share. Hey, I want to I want to ask you this to kind of circling back. What? What do you wish that? More people understood about having a child with autism.

Michael Pereira (41:46)
Hmm, what I would wish... Just celebrate small victories, right? You know, it may be unnoticed by a lot of people, you celebrate small victories on yourself because you're, you know, don't feel alone, but celebrate everything that you see that there's progress. Not only from a child perspective, I think that, you know, my wife and myself, we celebrate it when...

I've almost in the edge of start screaming and I just breathe. That for me is progress. And I said it right, said, man, you know, that's good. That's good. I'm learning to be patient. learning to adapt. I'm learning to see things from a different lens. you know, I think I would, you know, I would wish that a lot of parents would just...

celebrate those small victories which you know what will be yours that you're your things that you need to work on and When you detect them you identify them celebrate it even if it's within yourself and The same thing with the with the child now at any progress is good. You know, he's seven years. He will be seven next month He's covered me. He's still not conversational. He talks a lot and you see that he again I can mention. Hey, how are you a confu Panda?

or any other, but he's talking and for us that's a huge win. Him going to jujitsu and not running away, that's a huge win. When we introduce foods, know, and he loves bananas, he loves, and obviously being...

I would say in this community routine is essential when he loves only one thing. That's the only thing he wants. And when you see that we're introducing new things, even if it's something so basic for us, it's amazing. I would just have that mindset of celebrating everything. Everything's a blessing, Because again, even if it's your ego that now it's reducing, if it's now that you're humbling against this situation, you're mold.

a gift that's going to continue to give beyond the years that you're going to be alive.

Robert (44:08)
So let's say we're sitting, you're in Miami and you're going to take a walk on the beach and you sit down, you're near the beach, you sit down on a bench or something next to somebody else and you could tell they're thinking and you ask them how everything's going and they say, hey.

Michael Pereira (44:11)
Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Robert (44:26)
I'm really starting to think that my child has autism or somewhere on the spectrum and I don't know what to do. What advice do you give them?

Michael Pereira (44:32)
Yeah.

First I would ask them what makes them think that, right? What makes them, what have they seen that they believe that? And try to, again, that's where I think the sense of curiosity comes in.

But curiosity in a way to watching who you're listening to and going to the professionals, but above everything before even professional, that's where you really need to get in sync with your gut feeling. Because it doesn't mean that when I, you know, I don't wanna say it this way, but you get the diagnosis, everything's gonna be like the, I've seen cases that.

A lot of parents say, he's been diagnosed. He's not going to do this, this, and this. And the mom and dad say, you know what? Screw that. I'm sorry if I say screw. Screw that.

Robert (45:27)
No, I've had a lot worse

said than that on here.

Michael Pereira (45:31)
Okay,

through that, you know, I see that there's potential. I know he's my son and I know that we're going to do this together, whatever he was diagnosed and you know, they flip the story around. So I would just first get in sync with, okay, seeking information, being curious, open minded, seeking information from professionals to really and even second options doesn't mean that you only have to go to one doctor or one psychologist when they're out.

if

you feel that there's something else that maybe, man, I've even heard cases of that the parent understands that there should be a diagnosis and some doctors say, he doesn't have anything. And then they go to another doctor and seek information, seek validation, but at the end of the day, have that gut feeling because in this case,

that mother wanted him to get care because she knew. So again, it's the other way around. Some parents don't wanna go in that denial phase and don't wanna get diagnosed. Some parents know that they need it and they continue to seek until they get diagnosed. I would, again, short answer, just go with your gut feeling and get this sense of curiosity to seek information. Is this it? Yeah, that's it.

Robert (46:49)
just embrace life right? Which

is what you've done. It's not look at the past it's embrace it.

Michael Pereira (46:54)
I don't know what's going to happen from here to a couple of years, know. I just know that I'm just going to be a supportive as possible, continue to do as many projects I can for this community and just be there. There's other families that, again, it's a beautiful community. It's beautiful families and I just want to do as much as possible for them.

Robert (47:21)
Well, I appreciate everything you're doing. I really do. And I appreciate you spending time on here. Is there anything else you want to share? think we've got it covered?

Michael Pereira (47:30)
I think we got it covered, but thank you. Thank you so much for this opportunity.

Robert (47:34)
Look, I thank you. I thank you for reaching out. I thank you for coming on, sharing your story. you know, as when we talked, I, you know, I told you, like, I, this isn't just for parents that have a child who is somewhere on the spectrum. This is also for their friends, for the families, even for the ones who are wondering, maybe my child, you know, is maybe they're in that denial phase.

And I so much appreciate you being vulnerable, coming on and sharing. And man, I also appreciate what you're doing for the community as well. I really do. And it's the autism voyage.com is where people can find you. And I'm sure there's contact information on there and all of that.

Michael Pereira (48:24)
you can book a call if you want to talk to me, can subscribe to the newsletter if you want to get those weekly insights, you can browse through the blog post which we talk about everything, even there's one that I think we didn't spoke about. There's one category that for me is very important which I say entrepreneur because I think that empowering families to be able to acquire a skill set because it's very, for example Christian at one point he

had 28 hours of therapy a week, it's very difficult to have a 9 to 5 job. And I just also believe going into this type of a again the curiosity but again from an income standpoint to be able to see if you can buy your time back.

Robert (49:00)
Yeah.

Michael Pereira (49:14)
So there is a category there within the blog that talks about entrepreneurship, either if it's just getting a better position within your employer, because not necessarily you have to be a business owner within your employer, or if you want to take the leap and you're thinking about it, just acquire skill sets that at the end of the day, it's going to be beneficial for everybody.

Robert (49:36)
great. That's great. Michael, thank you for coming on the podcast. I really do appreciate it. Definitely. Thank you. Hey, and thank you all for listening to the dad to dad's podcast. You can find us on Spotify or Apple, you can actually find us on most platforms. You can also find us on YouTube and Instagram. Don't forget to hit that like and subscribe button. And I encourage you also to leave a comment. I read every one of them. And I really appreciate the feedback.

Michael Pereira (49:42)
Thank you. Thank you so much.

Robert (50:06)
you guys that you guys leave so thank you all again and we will see you next time