Importance of Faith, Family & Fatherhood with Jeremy Stalnecker

In this episode Jeremy Stalnecker, a former Marine and CEO of the Mighty Oaks Foundation, discusses the importance of fatherhood, the challenges faced by veterans transitioning to civilian life, and the role of faith in parenting. Jeremy shares his experiences in the military, the mission of the Mighty Oaks Foundation in supporting veterans, and the significance of equipping his children with a strong spiritual self. The conversation emphasizes the need for strong male role models, the impact of fathers in society and the importance of having a relationship with God.

Takeaways

• Understanding fatherhood can have a generational impact.
• The Mighty Oaks Foundation serves veterans and first responders.
• Many veterans struggle with trauma and transition issues.
• Talking about struggles is a powerful step towards healing.
• Faith plays a crucial role in Jeremy's life and parenting.
• It's important to equip children with a strong faith in God to overcome the daily challenges of life.
• Dads should prioritize their relationship with God and family.
• Finding mentors can help young dads navigate parenting.
• Being a father means serving and equipping your children. 

How to find Jeremy Stalnecker
IG https://www.instagram.com/jeremystalnecker/
March or Die Podcast https://www.instagram.com/marchordie/

Dad to Dads Podcast on IG https://www.instagram.com/dadtodads

Transcript

Robert Poirier (00:00)
Jeremy Stahlnecker, welcome to the Dad to Dads podcast. Man, I really appreciate having you on. So you're a former active duty Marine, you're CEO of the Mighty Oaks Foundation, host of the March or Die podcast, you're a father, a husband, and most importantly, you're a Christian.

Jeremy Stalnecker (00:04)
Thanks man, it's good to be with you.

Robert Poirier (00:24)
Thank you, thank you for coming on.

Jeremy Stalnecker (00:26)
Yeah, well thank you. I appreciate what you're doing and man, understanding fatherhood and what it means to be a dad and how to be a good dad, right? It doesn't take much to become a dad, but to understand how to be one that makes a difference, I think the impact is generational. And so I really appreciate what you do and giving me the opportunity to be with you.

Robert Poirier (00:44)
Well, look, when I found you and we'll go into it more, but when I found you, it was like, I've got to have this guy on. Like this is, this is a dad that I really want to spotlight. I like what he's all about. he is a loving dad. is a very devoted father, very devoted husband. What is his secret sauce? Huh?

Christianity. I wonder if that's it. And so that's why I wanted to have you on and like, we'll go into that more. But first, before we do, tell me about the Mighty Oaks Foundation.

Jeremy Stalnecker (01:16)
Yeah. Yeah. So Mighty Oaks, Mighty Oaks Foundation is an organization that works with, dedicated to serving veterans, active duty service members, first responders and their spouses. And so, you as you mentioned, I was in the Marine Corps and coming home from Iraq struggled. I thought that I was the only one who struggled the way that I struggled. Right. We all think that. ⁓ turns out I'm not and, wasn't then, but it took me a long time to figure out that many of the men and women who come back from.

combat for sure, transition out of the military even apart from combat, struggle with issues related to trauma, issues related to just the transition. You we talk about suicide rates and in the veteran world, the number is 22. You know, the VA tells us that 22 veterans a day take their lives. The number for those of us that work in this space, we know is much, much higher than that. Recent data puts it over 40. Some believe it's much higher than that. We don't know exactly, but

⁓ Men and women who have served in uniform coming home really hopeless and broken not knowing where to turn and many of them in their lives and so Mighty Oaks started as a response to that another Marine veteran Chad Robichaud and his family. Chad had struggled with post-traumatic stress, post-traumatic stress disorder and said, you know, I need to do something about this for everyone else. He came into a relationship with Christ that put him on the path that he needed to grow and go forward.

and he wanted to communicate that with others. And so we met when that was happening, when he was figuring all that out and we've been working on this since then. And so ⁓ we do a lot of things, but we have a five day program. That's kind of the core of what we do. Five day program where men or women, they spend five days with us. We talk about trauma. talk about, know, most of the trauma we deal with honestly is not even related to the service as much as it is childhood or family trauma that was then brought into the military.

Robert Poirier (03:07)
Sure.

Jeremy Stalnecker (03:09)
And we address that, we talk about it, but more than anything, we talk about how to move forward beyond that trauma. We're a faith-based organization. So how do we address these issues from a faith perspective? And we've been doing that for a long time, since 2012. We've had, ⁓ you know, nearly 7,000 people come through one of those week-long programs. And then we speak on this issue, spiritual resiliency and how to move forward beyond trauma. ⁓ You know, hundreds of times a year, we have a big team now that does that. And we've spoken to tens of thousands of folks.

Yeah, it's been quite a journey. It's been really interesting to be involved in just kind of from an outsider's perspective, but this is something that has grown or ⁓ developed, I guess, from lived experience.

Robert Poirier (03:53)
You know, it's criminal or almost criminal what I think it's criminal the way we treat our veterans or the way we don't provide them with treatment. I ⁓ don't want to get into politics, but when you look at

When you look at the benefits we give members of Congress or former members of Congress once they get out throughout their life, right? Versus people that have served, fought, it makes no sense to me. It makes absolutely no sense. it's horrible. But I appreciate what you guys are doing with that.

Jeremy Stalnecker (04:32)
Yeah, well, you know, one of the things that, you know, we realized a long time ago, and this is when we got started and we've just continued understanding this and learning this and developing our understanding of it is that the Veterans Administration, the VA, they do a lot of good things. If you have a physical injury, you know, the physicians at the VA are probably second to none in the world dealing with so many of the physical injuries that men and women come home from combat with.

But when comes to the psychological, the emotional, and I would say spiritual, when you talk about things like trauma and those issues, ⁓ they've just not done a great job addressing those. Most of that's been addressed, ⁓ you know, medically with medicine. And when you are talking about something like trauma, that is a spiritual wound that takes place, and it needs to be addressed from a spiritual place, an understanding of faith, an understanding of

spirituality and who we really are and the VA is just not equipped to do that. so, ⁓ yeah, it's not that money hasn't been put into it or that there's not an effort that's been made. It's just that the target is not being hit because they're addressing the wrong issues. They're addressing the fruit issues instead of the root issue. And we've had the opportunity to speak to the root of really what's going on. so, yeah.

Robert Poirier (05:45)
You know, I know

from a guy's perspective, it's very hard for men to go and seek help, especially when it's something mental, right? It won't not even mental physical to go to the doctor. ⁓ I imagine somebody in the military or ex military, how it would be probably even more difficult to go and say, Hey, I've been dealing with this and it is negatively impacting my life. Or do you guys find that where it's even harder for

Jeremy Stalnecker (05:54)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, you know, like me, when I came home from Iraq, I was struggling, had a lot of, man, a lot of challenges personally that became challenges for my family and even in my employment and all of those things. But, but I kept saying to myself, this is a me problem. I, I'm the only one who's dealt with this. I just need to work through it. I don't want other people to know. And so that leads to frustration and anger, isolation and takes you down a dark road. So I think a lot of, a lot of men and women who have served, they, they have

a similar thought, I just need to deal with this or I shouldn't be dealing with this or I'm the only one who's dealt with this. so crossing that line of actually getting it out into the open and talking about it, one of the most powerful things that people can do, and we could talk therapies, we could talk programs, we could talk medication. One of the most powerful things an individual who's struggling can do is talk about what they're going through. Because there's something about getting it out of your brain, bringing it out of the dark, getting into the light.

It just really changes even how the person experiencing that sees it and understands it. so, yeah, you're exactly right. It's hard for anyone to talk about their struggles, right? And their perceived weakness. And it's not weakness, but that's how they perceive it. And those who have been in the military, I think it's even more difficult, but that's why we exist and why other organizations like Mighty Oaks exist.

Robert Poirier (07:36)
Well, thank you for my ad. Thank you for your service. ⁓ how, how long were you deployed over in Iraq?

Jeremy Stalnecker (07:42)
So I was part of the initial invasion into Iraq, part of the initial push. So that deployment was six months. It's funny looking back on it now, right? We know what has come since then. But back in 2003, we thought, oh, the war's over and we're all coming home. And a lot of us did come home and then the war obviously was not over. And so there was a redeployment, but I was there for six months.

Robert Poirier (08:03)
that was that was what Desert Storm? No, what was

Jeremy Stalnecker (08:05)
No, that was, yeah, so Desert

Storm was in the early 90s. This was in 2003. This was the push into Iraq. Operation Iraqi Freedom is what it was called. Yeah, yeah, and it became a 20-year war in Iraq. Yeah. Yeah.

Robert Poirier (08:13)
was that Iraqi freedom? Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah. Wow, well, thank you.

Was there one mission or anything like that during your time that stood out?

Jeremy Stalnecker (08:28)
You know, it was such a crazy time because when we, so we deployed to Kuwait and sat on the border. We waited for the order to move, which came on March 19th. You know, we breached the berm that exists between Iraq and Kuwait, pushed in. First KIA of the war was one of our officers. First, you know, wounded in action. All of that was brand new. Like none of us had ever experienced any of that. And none of us had, I think we had, in our battalion of 1200 Marines,

We had, I think two or three that had been a part of any combat action. Some of that was Desert Storm, a couple of who had been in Somalia. And so it was completely new. So the whole thing was, was crazy, right? You, go from training, um, to having people, you know, shoot back at you. remember the first time the tracers were coming our direction. So the whole thing was just, you know, hard to get your brain around. I was, uh, 20.

Robert Poirier (09:20)
How old were you?

Jeremy Stalnecker (09:23)
24 or 25, um, I was platoon commander. So responsible for, uh, in my platoon, were 84 Marines. Um, but we made the push from Kuwait to Baghdad and there were, you know, a couple of key moments there. There was a, I write about this and I talk about this on my podcast too, where that march or die kind of story comes from. got in a firefight on a bridge and, uh, was just insane.

Caught in kind of a mortar ambush in a position. And so that was a major engagement. And then the battle of Baghdad on April 10th. That was our biggest fight. We rolled into Baghdad for about 12 hours, fought our way to our objective, lost several Marines, had over a hundred wounded in action. It was just a crazy, crazy night. yeah, that whole, that whole deployment was, yeah, it was, every part of it was different and weird and

contrary to the things you're told your entire life that should be happening. So the whole thing was pretty interesting.

Robert Poirier (10:20)
So you're in your early 20s, first combat. I think a Marine's like chewing nails and spitting out pieces and wanting just like can't wait to engage in action. What is it like when you said the Tracers were going past you? What is that like when it's like, oh shit, this is real?

Jeremy Stalnecker (10:28)
Sure.

Yeah.

Yeah. So, I mean, there's a couple of layers to that. One is that we had been training for a long time. In fact, just because of circumstances, I was with that same platoon for over two years, which is pretty unusual, but that's what happened. So I had been with the same Marines for two years. I'd been in that battalion for four. ⁓ and we trained a lot and prepared a lot. And so one thing that happens and people say this all the time, but it's absolutely true. You, you always fall back to your level of training.

And that's what happens. A lot of the motions that you're moving through become automatic because you've trained it. You know what you're supposed to do without thinking about it. You've already made those decisions. You've already trained for this scenario. so here you are. And so you're able to function even in the uncertainty of those environments and the newness of it all, because you've trained to do that. Right? So that's very important. And I think that's why Marines are so successful when they find themselves in these like very unusual situations. But on the other hand,

There are those moments and that first night of the war and it was, you know, we went in in the middle of the night. ⁓ the, first objective was what's called the Southern Ramalia oil fields. So there were these, these oil pipelines that went into this, this gas separation plant. And so the, of those pipelines had been, been set on fire. And so you've got smoke in the air, you've got fire. It's, it's dark. Other than that, you're engaging an enemy who's now shooting back at you. Right? So all of these things are happening at the same time.

Robert Poirier (11:54)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Jeremy Stalnecker (12:13)
And your brain is telling you, this is not supposed to be happening. It becomes very, you know, very surreal, if you will. And then you start to engage, you know, not just an enemy out there, but actual people in front of you. And then, you know, as the sun comes up, you start to see the damage on the battlefield and ⁓ have your own Marines or Marines around you medevacked out because they've been injured. And all of this is happening very, very quickly. And these are all things you knew could happen, but now you're living it.

And again, your brain is saying, this is not supposed to be this way. I mean, your entire life, you're told, don't hurt people, don't shoot at people. Even throughout your training environment, everything is, is safety and training. so it's don't point at a real person, you know, all that stuff. Right. now you're engaged in that fight. So, um, I remember, and I've told this story many times before we deployed to Iraq, my mom pulled me aside and she's like, look, as your mom, I just want to know that you believe in the cause. Right. You believe that.

Robert Poirier (12:49)
Yeah.

Jeremy Stalnecker (13:10)
What you're going to do is what you should be doing and that you're you're okay with it and I gave some smart You know, hey, I'm a Marine and we do what our country tells us to I gave her one of those answers, right? And I I mean I remembered as clear as it's today. We are sitting engaging an enemy on the southern border of Iraq in the middle of the night and the words of my mom the question my mom asked me Do you believe in what you're doing that came back to me? like, wow, this is this is why she asked

Robert Poirier (13:38)
Yeah

Jeremy Stalnecker (13:39)
Because right

now it'd be really good to know if I believed in what we were doing. ⁓ so yeah, super strange. The human brain is weird. The mind is weird. You can move past that quickly and then continue to do what you need to do. But the first several hours of the war were just, just so weird. was like you're living in a dream. Things are happening and you know, blowing up and people are dying and things are burning and it's, yeah, it was a crazy, crazy environment.

Robert Poirier (13:57)
Can't imagine.

I just I can't imagine I can't imagine that and. You know all that you experienced all that you went through and again thank you though. I appreciate that and thank you for sharing also. ⁓ So you've got four kids and. A grandbaby. There you go, tell me about your kids.

Jeremy Stalnecker (14:18)
Yes. And a granddaughter. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So my, uh, four kids, my oldest is 26. She is an accountant here in Southern California and, um, super proud of her and the work that she's put in my, my son, her brother, they're 18 months apart is, uh, 25. He's a police officer here in town as well. And, um, yeah, he's, he's the dad of our granddaughter.

So he became our favorite when they had her, so that was awesome. ⁓ But doing really well, and then I have two teenage kids. My oldest teenager is, so my third child, she is a senior in high school, just started high school this week, and she's a senior. So getting ready to go out into the world, and then I have a son who's a junior. So ⁓ yeah, it's pretty awesome. And then our granddaughter was born about four and half months ago, and she's really cool. It's a neat phase of life. ⁓

Robert Poirier (15:14)
How is that

with your son being a police officer?

Jeremy Stalnecker (15:17)
You know, it's interesting and I've thought back many times to my parents and what they went through when I was not only in the Marine Corps, but specifically when I was deployed to Iraq in combat. And you think when you're in that environment that the person that this whole thing impacts is you, right? It's me, I'm the one that's here, I'm the one that's dealing with this. And I rarely thought about what are my parents going through.

Robert Poirier (15:39)
Right.

Jeremy Stalnecker (15:43)
I have great parents, I was raised in a great home. My dad would write me almost every day when I was in Iraq. ⁓ When we were there, there was no infrastructure at all. So I'd get all of those letters basically at once a couple of times while we were there. We didn't call home, but very supportive. But I never really thought about, I wonder what they're going through and what they're thinking about. We've had conversations since then. But now that my son is a police officer, ⁓ he's out there doing what?

what our law enforcement professionals do. It's, man, it's different. I'm proud of him. ⁓ I won't say I'm scared, but yeah, worried. Definitely concerned about what he has to go through and what he's dealing with. ⁓

Robert Poirier (16:21)
Word.

Jeremy Stalnecker (16:27)
But again, proud, I think that we, as his parents, he started talking about becoming a police officer when he was really young, like 11 or 12. And he stuck to that and made that happen. But when that happened, when he started talking like that seriously, I mean, kids talk about a lot of things, but it really seemed like he was serious about this. We started to do things to prepare him for that, if that's what he ended up doing. And so I feel like as parents, we prepared him as much as we could. ⁓

You know, have to trust the Lord that he's going to protect him and take care of him. But yeah, it's different for sure. It's different. You never really settled because you knew he was out there dealing with unkind people.

Robert Poirier (17:04)
Yeah, no, I appreciate him. I appreciate him doing

that. You know, that's one thing ⁓ I've thought about with my two sons, like, would I rather them go in the military or police officer? ⁓ That's a tough question.

Jeremy Stalnecker (17:11)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, and you know, through Mighty Oaks, we have programs for law enforcement and first responders. so, you know, part of my job is talking to, and I've talked to hundreds of police officers who are struggling because of their work and struggling because of the things that they've done. And so I think that's a double edged thing. On one hand, it makes me very nervous for my son and my daughter-in-law and his family. On the other hand, it's allowed me to have very frank conversations with him. And I think since he's grown up around this,

He's more prepared, even emotionally, mentally, ⁓ than a lot of other people are, so.

Robert Poirier (17:53)
I just think in those lines of work, it still amazes me with police officers. ⁓ literally watched one yesterday go into the office where, you know, they had gone through this chase and pursue this guy. They literally had him finally got him down on the ground in the middle of the lanes. You've got all that adrenaline flowing to take them.

Jeremy Stalnecker (18:14)
Yeah.

Robert Poirier (18:16)
you know, take this person down. And then they have to be so careful putting them in the car. And I watched them like, how in the world, Can you shut that down? That's just, you know, I just can't imagine that challenge. You're so amped up, you get this guy, you have to tackle him down. And then you put it, you know, and he was fighting going to the car and then they put them in the car.

Jeremy Stalnecker (18:21)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Robert Poirier (18:37)
And they kind of gently put them in the car. I would have been throwing them in there and kicking them and everything else. And it's like, I know they have to legally and you don't know who's sitting there videotaping it with their phones. But, I just think about the mental going back, mighty Oaks. think about the stress with that going from a hundred to 10 having to having to force your body to so quickly.

Jeremy Stalnecker (18:42)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

One of the things that we talk about in our programs is the difference between combat veterans and people in the first responder community, police officers, firefighters. One of the major differences is if you're in combat, you have those acute traumatic experiences. happens, know, whatever happens, and it can be terrible, but whatever happens happens. And then at some point it ends and you come home. So now you have space, you have time, you have distance.

Robert Poirier (19:27)
Yeah.

Jeremy Stalnecker (19:29)
For a police officer or a firefighter, you could be in the same career for 30 plus years. it's not, most of the time, it's not that acute, traumatic event. It's just the drip of things like you just described, dealing with, know, death and just the worst that humanity has to offer. And it's getting up every day and doing it again and again and again and again and again. And you deal with what you deal with at home, and then you go, or at work, and then you come home.

And now you're a husband or a wife, you're a father or a mom, whatever it is. I had one firefighter and I tell this story a lot because he described it to me so perfectly. He said, being a firefighter is crazy because you can go out on a call where you have to scrape a dead child up off the asphalt because of a car accident. Then you go back to the station, you change your uniform and you go do a community pancake breakfast.

And in that, you know, as police officers, firefighters, a lot of folks in that, in that world, in that there's never a time to deal with what has happened with what you've seen and what you've experienced. so, you know, from mighty Oaks and our programs, we have people that have been in law enforcement or the fire service for decades and have never dealt with any of their issues. And so now all at once they're dealing with 30 years worth of, of events like that. So yeah, it's, it's quite challenging for sure.

Robert Poirier (20:52)
Well,

I love what you guys are doing. I love it. I love it. So look, when I originally found you, I was impressed with how proudly you wore your Christianity and even more so how faith plays such a big role in how you are a father, how you are a husband. Do you mind sharing ⁓ how being a father

being a dad and your faith, how those intersect.

Jeremy Stalnecker (21:25)
Yeah, I mean, again, this could be probably a really, really long conversation, but I'll tell you fundamentally how they intersect for me. Number one, wouldn't be without faith. I don't know where I would be or who I would be, kind of on this temporal plane, right? Like here on the earth. Like where would I be? What would I be doing? I don't know. I received my hope, my purpose, and my direction from my understanding of what it is to have a relationship with God.

Robert Poirier (21:28)
That's fun.

Jeremy Stalnecker (21:53)
And then just the eternal impact of knowing that, you know, I'm a sinful person. need, needed a savior. Christ died for me. And I can have a relationship with God because of what Jesus did for me on the cross and not just me, you know, for all people. Right. And, and understanding that my confidence is in Him. And so my identity is wrapped up, not in my own failings or faults or

brokenness and we've all done things we're not proud of. We all have a past. We all have things we're not, ⁓ you know, willing to talk to other people about, as you mentioned earlier, and we can find our identity in that. But as a Christian, my hope is not in me. It's in Jesus. My understanding of the world and my purpose and all those things, it's not wrapped up in how talented I am or, you know, my circumstance or situation. It is in understanding that.

Christ died for me, that God has a relationship with me, or I have a relationship with Him, and He has a purpose for my life, and there's a direction in my life. And so I can pursue that. And so when I struggle with issues of identity, who am I, what am I, why am I here, I can go back to, and I need to go back to again and again, an understanding of, I'm here to fulfill the purpose that God has placed on my life, okay? That's the starting point.

Where do I find that? I find that in the Bible. I find that in understanding He's created me uniquely with unique gifts and talents and opportunities, just like He has all of us. And I've been called not to be someone else, but to be who He created me to be and to use what He's given me as a steward to care for it, for the benefit of other people. Right? We call this, you know, servant leadership or service. And so my job, my purpose given to me by God is to

Robert Poirier (23:36)
service. Yeah.

Jeremy Stalnecker (23:43)
is to use what I have for the blessing and the benefit of others. Okay, that's very broad. But then when I bring that back into my home, here's the caveat, I get this wrong a lot. I get upset, I do things I'm not proud of as a dad and a husband. But when I'm on point, when I'm focused, I understand that my God-given job, responsibility, purpose in my home is the same as it is anywhere else. It's to serve the people in my house.

Robert Poirier (24:12)
Yeah.

Jeremy Stalnecker (24:12)
It's to care for them in a way that equips them to be what God has called them to be. Whether it's my wife or my kids, my job is not to get out of them what I want. My job is to use what I've been given so they can fully be what God has created them to be. And so, you you continue to bring that down. When I think of my kids, and I think so many parents get this wrong, my job,

raising my kids and now, know, in part, in partnership with my son and his wife, raising my granddaughter. I'm not responsible, they are, but I am to equip and to help. But my job raising my kids is to, and now they're almost out of the house, but was to equip them to be the people, to be the humans that God's created them to be, ⁓ not to form them into my own image.

or to get them to do what I want them to do. A lot of parents will say, I just want my kids to be my friend, or I just want to protect them from the world, all of these things. I don't ever want them to leave home. Look, all of that is about you. They're going to go into the world, whether you like it or not. You controlling them is really you taking the place of God in their life and preventing them from being who they really are, which is gonna lead to frustration and resentment and all these other issues.

Robert Poirier (25:21)
Mm-hmm.

Jeremy Stalnecker (25:35)
Hopefully they'll be your friend, but my number one goal in life is not to have friends. My number one goal in life is to make sure that my daughter who is single and working in San Diego in a big accounting firm, that she knows how to do her job. But more than that, she knows how to be a person of character and integrity, how to serve others, how to make a difference in her environment where she's decided to go, to be who God called her to be. My son who's out there, you know, doing what police officers do. ⁓

when he started talking about being a police officer as a little kid, I know a lot of police officers and I started to ask questions, what would he need to have to be equipped to do that? And like, well, he needs to know how to take care of himself and he needs to understand the policing world and all those things. And so we got him into, when he was young, got him into ⁓ martial arts and he started training jiu-jitsu when he was 12 years old. ⁓

because I cared if he knew Jujitsu as a 12 year old, but because I knew if you do this job, someday I want you to be physically equipped to take care of yourself. So we're going to start investing in that. We got him into our, our city has a great Explorer program, which is, you know, young people working with the police department and being mentored by police officers. That's, that wasn't an option for him. If this is what you want to do, we're going to get you in this environment as a 14, 15, 16 year old teenager. ⁓ it was continuing to put him in environments and around people that could

Robert Poirier (26:36)
Prepared, yeah.

Jeremy Stalnecker (27:01)
could continue to equip him. And then me as his dad having conversations about being a person of character, when all the stuff with COVID was going on and ⁓ police officers were being put in these situations where they had to do things they didn't agree with. We had that conversation. I mean, we sat down and I said, look, if you go into this line of work, there may be a moment in time where you're going to be asked to do something that you don't agree with. You have to decide now how you're gonna handle that. Let's talk about.

a job that you can fall back to if you have to walk away from this. How do you take care of your family if you're asked to do something that you can't do? So it was with him specifically because of the job he was going into, it was what do I have? What relationships do I have? What influence do I have? What financial resources do I have to help equip him to do what he thinks God wants him to do? And it's the same way with my other kids. so, man, the temptation as a parent is to say,

I know what you should be doing, and so I'm gonna make you do that, instead of saying, let me guide you and equip you to fully be what God's created you to be. again, we haven't always gotten it right, but when we have, that's been clear in our mind as a goal and an objective.

Robert Poirier (28:15)
You know, it reminds me of a sermon I remember from my preacher a while back. And I probably have got this wrong, but just kind of go with me. I think it was based on this is probably very wrong. I think it was based on Psalm 127. And he described children like arrows. And he and he gave the picture of think back,

Jeremy Stalnecker (28:27)
You

Robert Poirier (28:44)
to how they used to make arrows. And you're doing everything to make it perfect. You wanna make it long, slender. You wanna make it very straight. You've gotta think about the feathering on it. You've gotta think about the point. It's gotta be exact, right? And you've got these beautiful arrows that you're making.

What use are they if you keep them in the quiver? Nothing. But when you let them go, you want them to fly straight. You've got to make sure that you have built that, you know, built that arrow, constructed that arrow, carve that arrow precisely. ⁓ and it kind of, for whatever reason, it kind of reminded me when you were saying that, you know, of, equipping them.

Jeremy Stalnecker (29:08)
Right. Right.

Yeah. ⁓

That's right.

Robert Poirier (29:29)
for what they might be faced with.

Jeremy Stalnecker (29:31)
Yeah, I mean that's exactly right. The Bible talks about...

Robert Poirier (29:33)
That wasn't a very good way to explain a sermon because he

went he went into like if it's if it's curved and the wind you know it can get it more off course and everything else that is a very very high level poor summary of his sermon so I apologize.

Jeremy Stalnecker (29:41)
Yeah.

But no, but that's right. And I think,

you know, if, we, as parents just say, I'm to provide food and shelter and I'm going to protect them and it's going to work out, it's, it's not going to work out. mean, think about the world that we live in, the culture, the society, our kids are going to be faced with dealing with issues and understanding situations and making decisions that we couldn't even imagine. And, and in my mind.

Robert Poirier (30:02)
Right.

Mm-mm.

Jeremy Stalnecker (30:15)
What I think about with my kids is when I'm gone, when they can't call dad and say, what do you think? They can't get help. When I'm gone, are they going to be able to navigate the world that they're living in? listen, I know a lot of good parents who have done everything right and their kids make their own decisions and they go sideways and do crazy stuff. I get that. do what your kids do when they're out of your house. ⁓ that they have to decide what they're going to do and how they're going to live. But.

My job is to do everything I can to make sure that when I'm gone and they're gone and they go out and do what they're gonna do, that they are equipped to make the right decisions. And it's challenging.

Robert Poirier (30:55)
Man, Jeremy, that's a huge

fear of mine. Fear, concern, whatever you want to say. you know, I've mentioned before, I lost my dad when I was young. And so there were a lot of times that I did not have that father figure. ⁓ My mom did a great job. I had other men in my life, family members and people within the church community that were really instrumental in helping me, know, helping me learn how to hunt, you know, all different things.

Jeremy Stalnecker (31:23)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Robert Poirier (31:25)
but I didn't have that day in day out, ⁓ father masculinity, if you want to call it what I didn't have that figure there. And with my two sons, that is a huge concern. And if anything, I probably overdo it because it's like, look, I know the moon. I have less moons before me than I have behind me. And you know, you don't know if today's it for you.

Jeremy Stalnecker (31:48)
Right.

Yep.

Robert Poirier (31:53)
And just

to make sure they are prepared to, to face everything they're going to be faced with or the most that I can prep them for. And that's, that's concerning. It's scary.

Jeremy Stalnecker (32:06)
Yeah, and you know, again, I think the goal should be that it's equipping. I don't know what my kids are going to face. I know they'll have struggles just like all of us do, and they'll have situations they'll have to deal with, and maybe they'll do well, maybe they won't. You know, I pray for them, right? And I pray that they will do the right thing. But I don't want to carry the regret at some point down the road that I could have gotten them ready for that. And I just didn't. And some of that is being a testimony, right? It's being an example.

Robert Poirier (32:29)
Yeah.

Yeah,

Jeremy Stalnecker (32:36)
I don't have to say everything, it's, no, they're going to, yeah, hopefully they'll, they'll hear what I say and then see

Robert Poirier (32:36)
it's big. They're not gonna follow what you say. It's what you do. Yeah.

Jeremy Stalnecker (32:44)
a life that, backs that up, that lives that out. And, and that, man, that really is the goal. And so I have to be clearer than on my mind, okay, what, when I think about this, what am I trying to equip them for? So, you know, for me,

Robert Poirier (32:46)
Yeah, yeah.

Jeremy Stalnecker (32:59)
I want them to be spiritually healthy. I want them to have a relationship with God. That's a personal relationship. I can't force them into it, but I want to walk that road with them and help them to understand the importance, mean, the ultimate importance of that relationship with God. I want them to know what it looks like to live out your faith. know, spending time in the Word of God, spending time in prayer, spending time in a church community, spending time around other believers who can encourage you and even hold you accountable.

You know, being a person of faith, what does that mean? I need to walk that out with my kids. Again, parents say, well, faith is personal. I'm going to let them figure it out. They were placed in your home for you to steward over and you can't make those decisions for them, but you should certainly walk them through, ⁓ you know, what that looks like. If it's important, if it's real, then it's real.

And if it's real, then your kids need to engage with it and it's your responsibility to help them know how to do that. And so, so there's that part of it. There's the physical part, as I mentioned, depending on, you know, your kids and what they want to do. But I want them to be physically capable of dealing with the world around them. I want them to be, you know, mentally engaged. So what education do we need to get to go do the thing that you need to do? What's the best way to walk that out? You know, the interesting thing about that, and I've observed this in other parents.

My adult kids are still in their twenties, you know, younger, I guess, but we have a great relationship with them. And if you make the goal to have kids who become your friends, you're probably going to miss it. But if you make the goal, equipping your kids to thrive in the world, they will be your friends. And man, it's amazing how when we do what God calls us to, the rest comes into line.

Robert Poirier (34:33)
Yeah, sure.

Yeah, it's that's what that that is. One thing that kills me is the parents friendship with their kids. They try to be their friends. And, know, I've told my son so many times, like, I'm not your friend. One day we will be, I hope, but I'm your, I'm your dad. One day, maybe we can sit down and have a beer together, you know, or whatever it may be. But right now we ain't there. Did you grow up in a faith based family?

Jeremy Stalnecker (34:47)
And that's been my experience for sure.

Right, right, not today. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know, I did. And a big part of even my understanding of fatherhood, uh, is my dad. mean, my dad still, you know, calls me. He's still the first call I make if I'm struggling through something almost, you know, 48, 48 years old and still, if I'm trying to figure something out, the first call I make is to my dad. Um, my dad was a pastor. Um, he was a church planter. So he started a church. Uh, he, he and my mom put a very high, um,

Robert Poirier (35:35)
wow.

Jeremy Stalnecker (35:40)
importance on faith and relationship with God. So yeah, I was raised in that environment. But, you know, to your point earlier, a lot of the reason I think that kids who grew up in ministry environments struggle with faith is because they see one thing demonstrated in public and another thing demonstrated in private. And my parents were never that way. My dad was in private, who he was in public. He lived out what he said. And so as I grew up, I saw that.

You know, it's funny, when I was a teenager, I decided I didn't want that. I didn't want to be in ministry. I didn't want to be a pastor or whatever. Yeah. I don't know if it was even a rebellion as much as it was like, nah, that's definitely not for me. It was more of that, I think. ⁓ But I ended up in ministry. I ended up doing a lot of those things. And part of it was just because of the authenticity of his faith and my mom's faith. just, it was real. so.

Robert Poirier (36:15)
Just kind of rebel a little bit away from that.

Jeremy Stalnecker (36:34)
I could go do something else, go in the Marine Corps and do the other things I did in college and that stuff. And it wasn't a crisis of faith for me. was, well, I can be an authentic Christian in this environment as well. I can be an authentic Christian, although certainly not perfect, ⁓ even in a Marine Corps environment or combat environments. And that was a learned thing by watching my parents. So ⁓ yeah, the example is...

So powerful. I think as parents, we probably even downplay how important that is. You feel like you have to say something. I think saying things is important, but man, just living consistently is far more important. Yeah. Yeah.

Robert Poirier (37:10)
It's doing, they watch so much. They watch

So I wasn't going to ask you this, but it came to me. Doubts with your faith. Do you ever have doubts?

Jeremy Stalnecker (37:21)
Yeah.

Sure. Yeah.

Robert Poirier (37:25)
How

do you handle that?

Jeremy Stalnecker (37:26)
Well, I think, you know.

Robert Poirier (37:28)
Because I

would, and don't get me wrong, I would, I mean, I think it's normal, right? I mean, I do from time to time, like, God, are you listening? I mean, there's been times I've been mad at God, like, and I mean, I could go on and on different times, like my prayers haven't been at times like, God, thank you so much for this. That it's been like, God, where are you? I've like, really like, boom, and like, what are you doing?

Jeremy Stalnecker (37:52)
Right. Right.

Yeah.

Robert Poirier (37:58)
⁓ you know, are you there? Like, are you listening? How do you, how do you handle those times? And let me before, and sorry, I keep asking you and then interrupting, then I'm interrupting, but I will say this after I have those, ⁓ if I sit or when I sit back and basically shut up and listen and see, then it's like, all right, you are there. I was just being a knucklehead.

Jeremy Stalnecker (38:20)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, that's right. I think God does certainly reveal himself. You know, I guess this would be one of those, it depends on why I'm struggling through that at the moment. You know, what's causing that doubt in that moment. ⁓ The Bible tells us in the book of Romans that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. So.

Robert Poirier (38:24)
But how do you handle that?

Jeremy Stalnecker (38:47)
know, faith, that is confidence in God, really it's confidence that God can do what he says he'll do. It comes by knowing what he says he'll do, right? And so we have to spend time in the Bible to know what it is exactly that God says he'll do. I think a lot of our faith falters because it was misplaced, you know, in the first place. God never said he would do that. God didn't promise he would, ⁓ you know, give you that or make that happen or bring that to pass.

You hope that He will, that's fine, but you're saying God let you down. Well, God never said He was going to do that. So that's one thing I have to like, work through that is like, well, I put an expectation on God that He never gave me. This wasn't something He said He was going to do. This is just something I thought He would do or I wanted Him to do or whatever. And in those moments, my faith becomes really transactional. It's like, well, if God will do this, then I'll continue to believe. And so I have to be careful about that, right? I think we can all fall into that.

Well, God let me down. Okay. Tell me where God didn't keep his word and he let you down. Well, he didn't say he was going to do that, but I thought he would. So he let me down. Well, that's, that's not, that's not God. That's you. Right. So that's one thing. ⁓ but when I have those moments of doubt, it's okay to acknowledge that God knows how frail we are, how human we are. if Hebrews four tells us, you know, we have a high priest that understands our infirmities because he lived it. Right. Jesus lived on this earth and.

As much as he is and was God, he is or was at the time human. so struggle with those things. The Bible says without sin, he didn't sin, but he understands it. gets that. So there's nothing wrong with expressing those doubts to God. I don't think there's anything wrong with saying, God, I'm struggling here. Please help me. Holy Spirit work and show me what I need to understand and how I can understand this. And then getting back to, okay, what is my faith based in?

Robert Poirier (40:42)
Yeah.

Jeremy Stalnecker (40:42)
and

on, and it's going back to those places of here's why I believe and here's why, I don't say why I started to believe, but this is what my faith is founded in and based in, and this moment of doubt, this moment of difficulty, this doesn't define my entire relationship with God. So let me get back to those other times that I've learned from God and those other things I've seen God do in my life. you can go all the way back and the proof.

of God and the proof of the resurrection of Christ and all of these things that we have access to and we can think about and study and learn from and experiences that God has brought us through. Let's go back and rehearse those things. It's interesting that the psalmist, you mentioned the Psalms, the psalmist again and again and again and again and again throughout Psalms remembers, remember when God did this. Let me worship God for doing this. Let me think about when God did this. God, I'm struggling right now, but I will rejoice in what you have done.

Robert Poirier (41:27)
Yeah, yeah.

Jeremy Stalnecker (41:36)
And so, I mean, so much of the Christian life, I think, comes back to going, man, I am struggling right now, but let me pause and reflect on the good things God has done, the blessings that he's brought into my life. And then, you know, sometimes it's resting on the fact that, God, I don't know why you let this person die. I don't know why you let this situation happen. I don't know why you would let this circumstance that is unexplainable to me ⁓ continue. But I'm going to trust you because you're God. You see things I don't see.

You understand things in a way that I don't understand them and I'm just going to trust you and keep moving forward. If we would stop trying to help me learn from it. If we would stop trying to be God and would let God be God and do the things that we can do, the things that are in front of us. ⁓ Man, it takes a lot of pressure off. I have those moments where I'm trying to like control God or manipulate God into doing what I want him to do. I need to do what I know to do. Right? I know to be faithful to my wife, to be.

Robert Poirier (42:09)
Yeah, and help me learn from it.

Yeah.

Jeremy Stalnecker (42:32)
You know, father of my kids, to work my job, to serve others with whatever resources I have. I know I can do those things. So keep doing those and then let God do the things that only God can do. Very easy to say, hard to live out, but I have to come back to those places.

Robert Poirier (42:46)
it's so, so, so

hard, Jeremy. And you know, one of those times when I, ⁓ was upset with God and pray into God was I still, I, I, I'm not going to go into the circumstance, but I still remember the prayer and it was, I was so upset with God. And I remember like, I am doing everything I can. Like I am doing everything and I cannot do anything more. I need your help.

Jeremy Stalnecker (43:07)
Yeah. Yeah.

Robert Poirier (43:14)
I just can't do it. Like I can't do it anymore. And I'd given up. That's all I had to do was release, let go of the wheel because you know what? The next day and the next day and the next day it was like, Oh, is that all I had to do before? It was like, I'm trying to control everything so much. Sometimes I just, I have to rely on you. I mean, I just have to, not sometimes, but I have to rely on you.

Jeremy Stalnecker (43:23)
Yeah. Let God be God. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I so, you know, I preach at my church sometimes. I'm not a pastor, but I preach there sometimes. And I've been preaching a series of messages this summer. And, you know, from first Corinthians 15, but there's a difference between hope. Hope is the confidence, not, I hope so, but Bible hope is the confidence that God will keep his word, right? The confidence that God is God, that he can do what he says he'll do. There's a difference between that.

And we could say faith or victory. 1 Corinthians 15, it uses victory at the end of that, but faith. Hope is, I believe God can and will do what he says he'll do. Faith is living like, I believe God is who he is and says he'll do it and will do what he says he'll do. A lot of Christians, I think, get caught up in this like, well, God, believe you're God. I believe you can. I believe that ultimately you will. And I'm going to sit here and wait for something to happen.

Robert Poirier (44:36)
Yeah.

Jeremy Stalnecker (44:37)
Victory in the Christian life, and this is the living out of faith, is saying, I believe you have, and I'm gonna live like you have. And so, whether I get it or not, I'm gonna trust you to be God, and I'm gonna move forward. And again, very, very easy to say, very difficult to do. And the reality is, the other people in our lives get a say in how some of this unfolds, right? And so, we have to trust God through all of it.

Robert Poirier (44:51)
So tough.

Yeah, it's challenging.

Yeah, yeah.

So I went into it earlier about, you know, one of my fears is that one of my biggest fears of being a dad is not

Properly preparing my sons. I mean for life, know for when I'm gone or when they go out in adulthood and you know, just They get so sick of my life lessons, you know, we'll watch a movie and I'll stop it You know, and I give them a life lesson They get so sick of it. They kid about it and they will occasionally say hey dad We I know we give you our time, but we do appreciate like they'll say that but that is a huge fear of mine Like it is a huge just to make sure they're prepared

Jeremy Stalnecker (45:22)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Robert Poirier (45:38)
Do you have fears? Will you share? Do you mind? You don't have to go all into them, I just.

Jeremy Stalnecker (45:40)
yeah.

Yeah, yeah,

mean, yeah, for sure. I mean, we all have fears. I don't think I fear about a lot of things. Like I don't have a lot of things that keep me up at night. Probably the big thing that keeps me up at night, the big fear that I have, kind of the pervasive fear is that ⁓ I will do something or neglect to do something that causes harm. It's not, I don't.

I don't fear making a mistake or I don't even fear getting hurt or something like that happening. I don't want to, but I don't, I don't fear that. What I fear is causing harm to others, causing something bad to happen either because of neglect or because of, you know, an act of the will, something I actually did. ⁓ that that's what concerns me is being responsible for bad things happening in the lives of other people. And again, that could be a mistake. can be negligence. It can be a lot of things, whatever it is.

I mean, this is the reason I'm so careful on the road, right? Like if somebody hits me, that's fine. I don't want that to happen, but that I can't control that. But for me to be negligent and rear in someone or hit someone or whatever, that scares me. And that extends into a lot of areas of my life. The organization that I run, you know, it takes a lot to make what we do happen. And I'm not afraid that something bad.

Robert Poirier (46:44)
Yeah. Right.

Jeremy Stalnecker (47:04)
you know, would come into the world of Mighty Oaks and we'd have to address that and deal with it. What I'm afraid of is that I do something that causes problems for our programs and for the mission of Mighty Oaks and the work that we do. And it's the same in my house, man. Like I, I don't want my kids to go through difficult things. I don't want my wife and I to go through difficult things, but what scares me is

my kids and my wife, myself, going through difficult things because of neglect or because of a lack of effort or because of just, you know, really poor decision making. Um, and so with my kids, what scares me with my kids is that they'll encounter something in the world and not know what to do because I didn't help them know what to do in that moment. And, you know, I didn't give them the principles cause I can't know every situation.

Robert Poirier (47:37)
Yeah, yeah.

Jeremy Stalnecker (47:57)
but I didn't give them the principles or the resources or the outlet to know how to address what they're dealing with. That, I mean that scares me. My son, he was a police officer. Man, I pray for his safety and I pray that he'll do the right thing and all of that. ⁓

But beyond these situations that I can't control coming into his life, what scares me for him is that I didn't do something I could have done to get him ready to make decisions that he needs to make. ⁓ And it's that way with my other two kids as well, my younger two kids. ⁓ When I found out that my son was gonna have a baby, he and his wife are gonna have a baby, everyone was like, man, you must be so excited. There's so much joy, right? And they talked about that.

And honestly, my first response and still kind of what I carry is I'm happy. I'm very thankful for her. She's amazing. But really what I immediately connected to was a feeling of like deep responsibility. Like I now have another human that I'm responsible for. And again, I know I can be silly about that. ⁓ I'm not the parent, but as a grandparent, I need to do everything I can to help equip that little girl.

Robert Poirier (48:56)
Yeah.

Jeremy Stalnecker (49:10)
to grow up into a woman that can deal with the world. And man, I can't imagine the world she's going to grow up into. so, so my, my fear, right, is that I won't have done everything I can to help her in any way that I can.

Robert Poirier (49:17)
my gosh. I just, yeah.

Sounds like she has a very, very wise grandfather to listen to.

Jeremy Stalnecker (49:27)
Well, I

don't know about that, but she has one that's concerned about her knowing how to live in a mixed up world, that's for sure.

Robert Poirier (49:35)
Yeah, yeah. And probably one that's going to spoil her a little bit more than definitely more than you did your kids, right? So if I was going to ask you or let me ask you advice for maybe a young dad of what their goal should be as a father. What would you say?

Jeremy Stalnecker (49:39)
That will definitely happen. That will definitely happen, yes.

I'd say a couple of things. Number one, you need to understand your own life priorities. If you're not clear on what's important, then you're not going to be able to bring up the kids who God has brought into your life. So I need to be clear on the fact that for me, my priorities are a relationship with God, a relationship with my wife, then a relationship with my kids, and then my job and downstream. I have to be very clear on that and I have to build my life around that list of priorities in that order.

And then I need to have that list and communicate that to my kids. Look, I want to have a great relationship with you, but your number one priority should be your relationship with God. And then if God brings a wife into your life, then that needs to be your number two priority, right? Underneath God, that is where your focus should be. And then your kids, and then these other relationships. And so be clear on your own priorities. Build your life, the rhythm of your life, the things that you do around those priorities.

And that is going to set you up to be able to help that generation that's coming behind you to understand the priorities and live those out. So that would be number one. You have to know who you are, where you're going, what you're doing before you can help other people. then, and then second, and I think this is only a, only second because there has to be a second. It's very close to number one. Find dads and a church is a good place to do this. There are other environments to do this. Find dads who have older kids.

that are doing good and you would like for your kids to become like them, find those dads and spend time with them. And I think that's having a conversation with them and saying, hey, you've been a parent for a long time. You're a lot further down the road than I am. I see your kids. I see what they're doing. Can I spend some time with you? Let's get coffee, you know, once a month or whatever. ⁓ Can I call you when I have questions? Something like that. And particularly if you don't have a good dad in your life, which a lot of people don't, find some.

And if a guy is really a good dad, he's going to be happy to help in any way that he can. We have a couple of couples in our church that have young kids and my wife and I, know, several times a year we'll have dinner with them and it's just, it's just questions, right? And some of it's just us encouraging them like, yeah, it's hard. Like it's really tough and just trying to keep them in the game, find those it's a phase, but find those people ⁓ that have done it right.

Robert Poirier (52:07)
Yeah.

It's a phase.

Jeremy Stalnecker (52:15)
and learn from them. You do not have to do this on your own. So those would be the two things. Be clear on your own priorities and then get around people who have done it and can help you kind of clear the clutter and know what you should do.

Robert Poirier (52:27)
I love that. I love that. And going back to number one, I mean, how often do we see it flipped from God, marriage, kids, where it's flipped completely upside down?

Jeremy Stalnecker (52:37)
Yeah.

Yeah. Well, and you know, so for me, it would be, you know, God, my wife, my kids, and then, you know, what I would call my extended family, right? So these are, you know, my parents and sisters and extended family. Okay. And then my job. And then there are some other things I care about, but are pretty low on the list. Well, it's so easy to get, you know, my job is now functionally, you know, even if I'd say something different, it becomes number one. And then, you know, my relationship with God slides, right? I allow my.

you know, mom or my dad to take priority over my wife and my kids. so, yeah, you not only need to be clear on it, but you need to make sure that your life is living that out. And again, that's another whole conversation, but ⁓ your real priorities are demonstrated by how you live. You can say whatever you want, but it's demonstrated by how you live. So be clear on them, order your life around them.

And then you're in a place where you can help other people understand their priorities and how to live those.

Robert Poirier (53:38)
Great advice. ⁓ Great advice. I really appreciate it. Hey, tell me about your podcast.

Jeremy Stalnecker (53:45)
Yeah. So it's called the March or Die, March or Die show, March or Die podcast. And it's on Spotify. It's on all the, all the places. We also have a YouTube channel. If you go to YouTube, it's March or Die, ⁓ podcast or March or Die show. You'll find that there. But we talk, about how to move forward in a life that is, out of control. And that's really fundamentally what we do. We have guests on sometimes. Sometimes I just talk about different principles for moving forward. ⁓

Underlying all of that is this idea that in life you can stay where you are and die. You can give up, you can quit, you can just be and not really accomplish anything. That's death or you can march, put one foot in front of the other, but we need to be equipped to march. And so that's what we talk about is how we can do that. you know, faith is a big part of that, but, uh, yeah, it's been, you know, I started it for myself because I kind of needed an outlet to talk about things that were rolling around in my head. I had blogged for a while and, uh, it's a lot easier to just talk.

than it is to sit down and write things. So I started the podcast, I was doing it on my own. And then I've got a lot of people who joined along the way and, and we're doing our best to help encourage other people.

Robert Poirier (54:52)
great. How else can people find you?

Jeremy Stalnecker (54:53)
The easiest way to find me is just through social media. We're on all the platforms. Just use my name, Jeremy Stahlnicker. ⁓ That's the easiest way to connect to me. And if you want to connect to Mighty Oaks, it's mightyoaksprograms.org, mightyoaksprograms.org, and you can learn all about what we do there as well.

Robert Poirier (55:11)
I'll put links up as well. Jeremy, anything we missed?

Jeremy Stalnecker (55:16)
No, man, I appreciate it. Thank you for the conversation. the, the, the role of dads in the lives of their kids, but I would say more broadly in society, it's been studied, it's been researched, it's understood the incredible impact that dads being dads, have in this world. And you know, you said earlier that, your dad, you know, hasn't been in your life. And if.

Robert Poirier (55:19)
Gosh, I appreciate you.

Jeremy Stalnecker (55:44)
If you are one of those people, you grew up, didn't have a dad maybe close to you or something like that, find some people, we talked about that, but be that for someone else. There are so many fatherless young people in our world. Don't be afraid to see a teenage kid who needs a dad and just, you don't have to be his dad, but just be his friend, spend some time with him, give him a role model that he can look to because he's gonna find one. ⁓ So be that for other people and don't be afraid to, again, use what God has given you.

to invest in the lives of other people, but yeah.

Robert Poirier (56:16)
Yeah,

no, I think that's great advice. And you know, he is going to find what he or she will. ⁓ Good or bad. They find they find that source of masculinity that they're needing. And unfortunately, sometimes it's a gang they might go to. But now I appreciate Jeremy. Thank you. Thank you so much for all that you're doing. Thank you for your service. Of course. Thank you for what you're doing. And man, I really appreciate you coming on. I definitely do.

Jeremy Stalnecker (56:29)
Yeah. That's it.

Thank you.

Yeah.

No, thank you. really, really appreciate the time and the opportunity.

Robert Poirier (56:49)
No, thank you. Hey, and Thank you all for listening to Dad Dad's podcast. You can find us on Apple or Spotify.

As well as most platforms, you can also find us on Instagram or YouTube as well. Don't forget to hit the like and subscribe button and feel free to leave a comment. I read every one of those and I certainly appreciate your feedback as well as your subject recommendations as well. Thank you all again and we will talk to you next time.